Entertainment Music Lil Nas X Reveals He's In a Relationship and 'Found Someone Special': 'I Think This Is the One' “I’ve had some good boyfriends and some bad ones. A lot of them were emotionally unavailable or had a lot of insecurity and whatnot," Lil Nas X told Variety By Tomás Mier Published on August 11, 2021 03:05 PM Share Tweet Pin Email Photo: Heather Hazzan for Variety Lil Nas X has found "the one!" The "Industry Baby" musician, 22, opened up to Variety on the cover of their Power of Young Hollywood issue about his gay awakening, coming out and his current relationship, which he says is "special." "I've had some good boyfriends and some bad ones. A lot of them were emotionally unavailable or had a lot of insecurity and whatnot," he told Variety. "I've found someone special now. I think this is the one. I can't explain it — it's just a feeling." Back in October 2020, the rapper revealed he was dating someone in an interview with CR Men. "I'm dating someone right now," he said. "We're not in a relationship yet, but it's been on and off for the past few months. I'm maybe going to try to go steady this time." In his Variety interview, Lil Nas X shares he realized he was gay when he had a crush on his sister's cousin as early as age 5. Heather Hazzan for Variety Lil Nas X Was Afraid of Performing at the BET Awards but 'You Can't Always Go Where You're Accepted' "I had feelings for my sister's cousin — we have different dads," he said. "I was like, 'Oh, my God, he's really cute,' and thought that about a lot of other boys my age." The musician, however, explained that he didn't get into a full, committed relationship until he turned 18. "I was 18, I believe," he said. "Before that, there was a guy who wasn't my boyfriend, but we met in middle school and we talked, after we both found out that each other were gay. But I didn't act on anything until high school — well, middle school, but then high school." He added that experiencing homophobia "bred a lot of self-hate but it also made me stronger." Heather Hazzan for Variety RELATED VIDEO: From Becoming an Inspiration for His Fans, to His Fashion Sense, Lil Nas X Stays True to Himself "Once I was 17 or 18, I finally accepted it — like, for sure accepted it, slowly, more and more — and now I've grown into a person that is 100% open with it," he said. Experiencing homophobia continues to be an issue for the musician, especially after his "Montero (Call Me By Your Name)" video and BET Awards performance. When asked about homophobia in the hip-hop community, Lil Nas X said he'd rather not comment. Heather Hazzan for Variety "The honest truth is, I don't want to speak on a lot of the homophobia within rap because I feel like this is a very dangerous playing field," he said. "It's more for my own safety rather than anything else." He also shared that after he dropped "Montero," someone chased his car yelling "F— you" before he "actually started getting security." Heather Hazzan for Variety Lil Nas X Responds to Post Calling His 'Industry Baby' Music Video 'Sexually Irresponsible' Lil Nas X also opened up about the difficulties he faced during the pandemic, which he said he spent "making music and crying." "I think I spent all of the pandemic making music and crying — no in-betweens," he said. "For the first month or so, I did not leave my house, and once I did, I was super overly critical of everything I was making. I was letting everything online get to me and feeling like things were over for me." But now, Lil Nas says "a totally different person." As for his next album, he's "always trying to give people a show." "I have a goal in my head for where I want to be, but my entire life and career has been just going in and winging it. Some things work really well and some don't work at all, and a lot of them are very much last minute — like, I planned the BET kiss literally a day or two before it happened," he said. "I just use anything that comes at me to my advantage, even things that others may see as a disadvantage."