Lauren London on Getting 'Derailed' Almost 3 Years Since Death of Nipsey Hussle: 'Ultimate Test'

Hussle was fatally shot in March 2019 at age 33

Lauren London attends the BET Awards 2021
Lauren London. Photo: Paras Griffin/Getty Images for BET

Lauren London is learning the art of letting go.

During an appearance Tuesday on Jay Shetty's podcast On Purpose, London opened up about how she's coped with life's trials and tribulations, almost three years since the death of rapper Nipsey Hussle.

"When you have this plan for your life, as you should, if or when that gets derailed, and you have plan B now to go off that you didn't plan on, it is the ultimate test of surrender," the actress, 37, told host Shetty. "Because at the end of the day as much control as we think we have, we do not."

The actress also said she believes life will take its course — and "surrendering" is an act of courage.

"It's actually very powerful to surrender — we think that it's a weakness, but it's so much power in letting go and flowing with the river because life is going to do what it's going to do," she said. "We are all going to get chin-checked by life one way or another — so I might as well focus on my enlightenment and roll with the river and not fight with the rocks."

Nipsey Hussle and Lauren London
Lauren London and Nipsey Hussle. Allen Berezovsky/Getty

London and Hussle dated for five years and welcomed son Kross Ermias, 5, in 2016 before the rapper's death in 2019. She is also mother to 12-year-old son Kameron Samuel Ari, whom she shares with ex-fiancé Lil Wayne.

On Aug. 15, London marked what would have been Hussle's 36th birthday, and shared a heartfelt tribute on Instagram.

"Happy Birthday My King! I Love You Today and Forever Missing you is just apart [sic] of my DNA and I wear it with honor," she wrote at the time, adding, "Kross reminded me that you are '36' like me. 💙✨ 1 of 1 Hussle The Great there will never ever be another."

In April, London returned to her first acting project since his death, the film Without Remorse, to set an example for her children.

"Michael reached out to me as a friend and he was so unsure if I was even going to ever work again," the mom of two told Entertainment Tonight of costar Michael B. Jordan. "And he was like, 'Look, I'm unsure if this is what you want to do, but I have to follow my intuition, I have to ask you if can you just read the script.' "

Thinking of her children, she said, "We can't stop, you know? We do have a purpose, all of us, and it's important for my sons to see me moving forward with grief, not just curling up in a ball, because I curled up in a ball for a long time."

RELATED VIDEO: Lauren London on Returning to Acting After Death of Partner Nipsey Hussle: 'Don't Just Exist'

London added, "But especially for my eldest son because he's just a little more aware ... But we will continue moving on as we had to, as he would want us to."

In March 2020, London said on Instagram of Hussle (born Ermias Joseph Asghedom), "The Day of Ermias' transition changed the course of my life forever. 2 years, and it feels like yesterday and eternity all at the same time. Grief and Healing have been constant companions on this journey."

She continued, "In Honor of His life and demonstration ... May all of Heaven exalt Your name for all You did on Earth and beyond. Brave and Beloved Soul, Ermias. You are missed deeply. You are loved immensely. You will forever be. I love you eternally."

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