Kesha has found the “Rainbow” after the storm.
In Cosmopolitan‘s upcoming June cover story, the pop star opened up to the women’s magazine about perseverance — and PEOPLE has an exclusive first look at the interview.
“I’ve taken ownership of myself. I’m taking control of my life and my name and the music it’s attached to,” the 31-year-old singer (born Kesha Rose Sebert) told Cosmo.
This summer, Kesha will go on tour with Macklemore to promote her smash 2017 album Rainbow.
“I’m not, like, a sad sap now. There are a couple of ballads, but my show is still extremely fun,” Kesha said, appearing to allude to her ongoing legal battle with her longtime producer Lukasz Gottwald (aka Dr. Luke). “I’m not going to be less crazy. There’s an awesome band, and there’s dancing and glitter. That’s a promise I will keep — there will always be glitter.”
- Want to keep up with the latest from PEOPLE? Sign up for our daily newsletter to get our best stories of the day delivered straight to your inbox.
In 2014, Kesha sued her former mentor, alleging he had drugged and raped her and verbally and emotionally abused her for a decade. Luke has vehemently denied the allegations and countersued Kesha for breach of contract and defamation. In February 2016, Luke tweeted: “I didn’t rape Kesha and I have never had sex with her. Kesha and I were friends for many years and she was like my little sister.”
RELATED VIDEO: Everything You Need to Know About TIME’s Person of the Year 2017: ‘The Silence Breakers’
In 2016, a judge dismissed Kesha’s abuse claims, and the legal he-said-she-said appears to be at a standstill since Kesha dropped her triumphant third album last summer, though she is still tied to Luke through her recording contract with his company.
“I would write, and pain would turn into art, and the art would turn into healing, and the healing turned into a record. And then I was nominated for a Grammy!” Kesha said of the set, which earned nods for best pop vocal album and pop solo performance (for lead single “Praying”).
The star, of course, rose to fame in 2009 with her breakout party anthem “TiK ToK.” The pressures of stardom took their toll soon after she entered the spotlight.
“I thought I had to be very tough and really strong and portray that I didn’t give a f—, and that just was not the case,” she said. “I was pretending like everything was great all the time.”
Four years ago, Kesha checked into a treatment facility, where she sought help for an eating disorder.
“The final straw was when I was with my mom at a family dinner party and I was so anxious. Driving home, I had to pull over, and I was like, I can’t keep this secret anymore. It was scary, but I finally put my foot down and chose life,” she said of reaching rock bottom when it came to her body image issues.
“That was a huge turning point,” Kesha added. “I’m not a size. I’m not a number. I am a strong, badass, motherf—ing woman, and quite frankly, I like my junk. Ten years ago, I never thought I’d be able to say that.”