Kanye West is the greatest philosopher of all time.
On Wednesday, the rapper took to Twitter to write his own “philosophy book” in real time, offering nuggets of wisdom to his nearly 10 million followers. His writings are especially helpful for those looking for appropriate responses when confronted with very specific, very obscure situations. Like, what to say when that cute barista from your local coffee shop starts flirting with you during a run-in at Target. Yep, that specific.
We’re taking a look at some of Kanye’s greatest philosophical hits from Wednesday. Get ready to feel enlightened.
When your frenemy accuses you of stealing her go-to Instagram filter, but you’re proud of it because you use it way, way better:
When someone asks for your opinion on Queen Bey during a weekly Beyoncé Appreciation Club meeting:
When your annoyingly fit coworker tries really hard to get you to stop eating doughnuts and start drinking charcoal water:
When your fashion-forward BFF is scared to proclaim her love of Crocs in public:
When you notice one of your Instagram followers used one of your captions in her Story, and you’re weirdly chill about it:
When your S.O. has been really, really nice and considerate for the past week, and you can’t help but feel suspicious:
When you got to brunch late because you couldn’t decide on what shirt to wear. Again:
When you’re holding a carrot in one hand and a double-decker cheeseburger in the other, and immediately feel anxious about which route to take:
When your mom says not to waste your time on that meme account you created last week and have been spending all your time on:
When you kind of, maybe, definitely want to kick your roommate out:
When you get your laundry done, successfully meal prep and realize the guy you met on Tinder isn’t a total trash human IRL:
Praise be to Yeezus.