Justin Bieber Shares Emotional Post About Using 'Heavy Drugs' and Abusing His Past Relationships
Justin Bieber has previously spoken candidly about his mental health struggles, including depression, anxiety and ADHD
Justin Bieber is opening up about his early fame and the negative effect it had on his life.
The “Sorry” singer shared a lengthy post on Instagram Monday, where he reflected on how achieving fame at age 13, growing up in an unstable home, and having “access to whatever I wanted” led him to struggle both physically and mentally later in life.
In the candid post, Bieber, 25, also revealed that the unmanageable “ups and downs” from being an entertainer caused him to start relying on “heavy drugs” by age 19. The star said he “abused all of [his] relationships” and was being “disrespectful to women.”
“I became resentful… and angry,” he wrote. “I became distant to everyone who loved me, and I was hiding behind, a shell of a person that I had become. I felt like I could never turn it around.”
“You see, I didn’t grow up in a stable home, my parents were 18 [and] separated with no money, still young and rebellious, as well,” he explained. “As my talent progressed and I became ultra-successful, it happened within a strand of two years. My whole world was flipped on its head.”
The singer, who has been candid about his mental health struggles, explained how from the time he was a teen, he was constantly reminded of how great he was — something that Bieber credited to his downward spiral.
“I went from a 13-year-old boy from a small town to being praised left and right by the world, with millions saying how much they loved me and how great I was,” he shared. “You hear these things enough as a young boy and you actually start believing it.”
Bieber said the fame was also detrimental to his personal growth, as he never learned the true meaning of responsibility and was never able to develop skills beyond his music career.
“Everyone did everything for me, so I never even learned the fundamentals of responsibility,” he explained. “By this point, I was 18 with no skills in the real world, with millions of dollars and access to whatever I wanted.”
“This is a very scary concept for anyone,” Bieber continued. “By 20, I made every bad decision you could have thought of and went from one of the most loved and adored people in the world to the most ridiculed, judged, and hated person in the world.”
Despite the problems he faced, Bieber said he found comfort and support in a group of people, including his wife Hailey Baldwin, who “encourage him to keep going.”
The star has also recently sought professional treatment, a source told PEOPLE.
“You see, I have a lot of money, clothes, cars, accolades, achievements, awards, and I was still unfulfilled,” he admitted. “It’s taken me years to bounce back from all of these terrible decisions, fix broken relationships, and change relationship habits.”
“Luckily, God blessed me with extraordinary people who love me for me,” he added, before speaking to how his marriage to Baldwin, 22, has helped him move forward.
“Now I am navigating the best season of my life ‘MARRIAGE’ !! Which is an amazing, crazy, new responsibility,” he shared. “You learn patience, trust, commitment, kindness, humility, and all of the things it looks like to be a good man.”
“All this to say even when the odds are against you, keep fighting. Jesus loves you,” Bieber finished. “Be kind today, be bold today and love people today, not by your standards but by God’s perfect unfailing love.”
Earlier this year, Bieber revealed he had been “struggling a lot” in a candid Instagram post. A source also confirmed to PEOPLE at the time that depression was among the mental health disorders he deals with.
“For the first time in a long time, he is really addressing the things he needs to address,” said the source. “And just because he’s not standing on the mountaintop saying, ‘I take this specific medication’ doesn’t mean that he isn’t thoughtfully figuring things out.”
Since then, Bieber has heavily relied on Baldwin, 22, whom he married in a secret courthouse ceremony last fall, and the pair even put their wedding plans on indefinite hold while they work through the pop star’s struggles.
“Justin has an incredible support system,” the source said. “Hailey is his biggest supporter. She is there for him in a way that you wouldn’t expect from a newlywed. She understands him deeply, and is 100 percent ready to help him. He realizes how blessed he is to have her.”
It appears things haven’t changed since, as Bieber’s most recent post praising his wife comes just a few days after he delivered an emotional performance of a gospel song during a church service at Churchome in Beverly Hills.
Following the performance, Bieber reflected on the experience and thanked Baldwin for her unwavering support.
“Sang at church last night. God is pulling me through a hard season,” Bieber wrote in the caption of an Instagram video posted last Thursday. “Having trust in Jesus at your worst times is the absolute hardest. But he is faithful to complete what he started.”
“I also want to thank my wife for being such a huge support in my life through this season.. it says in the bible count it ALL JOY when you face trials of various kinds,” he went on. “Sounds insane considering when u face trials u feel terrible.”
“But if we are grateful and worship God for what we do have in that season there is so much power in that… whatever pain you are going through just keep telling yourself THIS WON’T LAST! Love you guys we in this together,” Bieber added.
The pair are currently planning a religious wedding ceremony this month in front of their friends and family, a Bieber source confirmed to PEOPLE in August.