"It's definitely odd to watch your ex-girlfriend asleep," Mayer joked on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen

By Sarah Michaud
November 28, 2017 03:45 PM

John Mayer may not “have a cool-enough thought” about his top rank on Katy Perry‘s lovers list — but admits he tuned into his ex-girlfriend’s Witness livestream anyway.

“Yeah, I did,” the musician revealed on Monday night’s episode of Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen, where he appeared alongside pal Bob Saget. “I think you’d have to watch all 96 hours to get the final verdict. That’s her thing, man, to go big and bold. Yeah, I checked in with it. It’s definitely odd to watch your ex-girlfriend asleep.”

When Cohen commented that it may have been stranger if Mayer didn’t tune in — “You were together for years!” — the guitarist, 40, agreed.

“The way I see things now, I call it ‘stand in the middle of the boat.’ If someone says, ‘I don’t watch that’ it’s like, ‘Yes, you do,'” Mayer explained, comparing the experience to unwritten rules around texting.

“It’s like, if you want to text someone … I texted Katy happy birthday. It was 4 in the morning. It was like a post-midnight, haven’t-gone-to-sleep-yet, it’s-technically-your-birthday send. Because how weird is it to be like, ‘I want to say happy birthday now, but I’m going to wait until tomorrow afternoon?’ Be a person, man! Text when you want to text it. Watch when you want to watch it. Be human about it.”

Despite his openness on the topic of the pop star, Mayer remained mum when asked to ID his own best lover, after Perry named him in answer to the same question in a segment with James Corden during the June livestream.

“What’s the way out of this? Right here,” Mayer responded, laughing and tapping the side of his head. “It’s on a little SD card. I’ve been creating it myself. I have been my best lover so far.”

Corden had challenged Perry to rank three exes — Diplo, Orlando Bloom and Mayer — from best to worst in bed … or face eating a 1,000-year-old egg during a game of “Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts.”

“They’re all amazing lovers, and I would have sex with all of them after I get out of this place,” she declared. But when pushed, Perry named Diplo third, recent ex Bloom as second and gave Mayer (whom she dated on and off between 2012 and 2015) the top spot.

Mayer previously addressed Perry’s love-making rankings in an interview with Rolling Stone, demurring with, “I don’t have a cool-enough thought for you.”

Andy Cohen, John Mayer and Bob Saget
| Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo

RELATED VIDEO: John Mayer Responds to Katy Perry Ranking Him Best Lover: ‘I Don’t Have a Cool-Enough Thought’

He did, however, have plenty of thoughts about his recent flirty Twitter exchange with Nicki Minaj. In September Mayer declared, “I spend an inordinate amount of time per day wondering if Nicki Minaj would like me or not,” which quickly drew a response from the rapper. “Would my body be your wonderland?” Minaj asked, referencing Mayer’s 2002 hit. “Asking for a friend.”

The musician was left speechless by the innuendo-filled retort. “Please hold on, losing my s—,” Mayer responded. “This isn’t my reply yet.”

And as he explained Monday, there will be none to come as Mayer feels Minaj, 34, “wins that exchange.”

“At the time when I wrote it — No. 1 it’s completely authentic and No. 2, I forgot that I was a famous person and that I would find out very quickly whether or not she would like me,” he said with a laugh.

“In very short order, something was going on with the retweet thing and I went, ‘Oh man, this is going to be bigger than I thought.’ But she was really, really kind and funny to me. And I was like, ‘She wins.’ She wins that exchange. She spiked the ball — it was great. You’re supposed to spike the ball and I’m supposed to lose and you win, and for the most part, I thought it was cool.”

John Mayer and Bob Saget

The two haven’t spoken since their back-and-forth — and that’s by design.

“That portal between two people who follow each other that could be crossed by either side should be respected,” Mayer said. “Two follows does not a DM relationship make, is what I’m saying. I think we’re both very responsible with the membrane that connects two people who follow each other on Twitter. Right now it’s just puncturing it just to do it. If we need each other, I think we know we’re there.”