"I wasn’t upset because I knew him well. I was upset because I didn’t," John Mayer said

By Joelle Goldstein
December 28, 2018 11:10 PM
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John Mayer (left) and Mac Miller
Jason Merritt/Getty; David Wolff - Patrick/Redferns via Getty

John Mayer is once again paying tribute to his friend Mac Miller.

More than three months after the rapper died from an accidental overdose, Mayer revealed in a poignant Instagram post that he wished he knew Miller better.

“Several weeks ago, I was sent an email asking if I wanted to take part in a Mac Miller tribute for a magazine as part of an end-of-year recap,” the “New Light” singer, 41, began the emotional message. “I passed on it, not because I didn’t want to talk more about him, but because I couldn’t; I had shared all the memories I had of him in the brief time of our getting to know one another,” he explained. “I replied to the email and sat in silence for a few minutes.”

“That day, I discovered a new dimension to the sadness of his passing – I wasn’t upset because I knew him well. I was upset because I didn’t,” Mayer candidly continued. “I wish I had more to tell you about Mac Miller.”

Mayer added: “What I do have to remember him by are a couple of beautiful mental photographs that I’ll keep with me the rest of my life.”

John Mayer performs onstage during the Mac Miller: A Celebration of Life benefit concert
Scott Dudelson/Getty

RELATED: Mac Miller Died of Accidental Overdose of Fentanyl, Cocaine and Alcohol: Coroner

The 26-year-old rapper — who was found dead in his Studio City, California, home on Sept. 7 — died of an accidental overdose of fentanyl, cocaine and alcohol.

Mayer has previously paid tribute to the late rapper, the first coming just days after news of his sudden death broke.

In another emotional Instagram post, the musician shared his devastation for the loss of his friend, whom he had recently collaborated with on “Small Worlds” from Miller’s fifth and final album Swimming.

“This was going to be Mac Miller’s year. He made a quantum leap in his music,” he wrote. “…You don’t get there without a lot of work, and Mac had put the work in.”

“I didn’t expect to play on his album the day he played some songs for me at his house, but when I heard ‘Small Worlds,’ I gave it a short, chirpy little ‘yup,’ which is the highest praise I can give a track. It means we don’t need to say another word, it’s going down,” he continued.

Mac Miller
Carl Timpone/BFA/REX/Shutterstock

RELATED: Mac Miller Dead: John Mayer, Macklemore, G-Eazy, Wiz Khalifa and More Mourn the Late Musician

“I grabbed the nearest guitar in the room and within a couple of hours we had finished a tune that made me so incredibly happy to have a part in, not to mention we established a nice little friendship,” Mayer explained. “He was so funny I just kind of stopped typing ‘LOL’ back in our texts. Mac was, to me, on permanent LOL status.”

Mayer went on to explain that their last encounter happened at Hotel Cafe in Los Angeles, where he described Miller as “nervous,” “honest,” and “endearing.”

“He would go on to play one of the best sets I’d seen in a very long time,” he finished. “Mac put in the work. He made his best album and formed the band that was weeks away from becoming a breakout live sensation. Believe me when I say that.”

“I send my love and support to everyone who knew him better, because what relative little I did, I just adored,” he finished.

John Mayer performing at the Mac Miller: A Celebration of Life benefit concert
Scott Dudelson/Getty Images

RELATED: Mac Miller Remembered by Travis Scott, John Mayer and More During Celebration of Life Concert

More than a month later, Mayer spoke again of their last encounter at Miller’s celebration of life concert in October, where he also performed their collaboration “Small Worlds.”

“I saw Mac play this at Hotel Cafe a couple months ago, and he got onstage and he said he was really nervous. And now, Mac, I’m really nervous. So we’ve got that in common too,” the guitarist admitted ahead of his performance. “This one’s for you.”

RELATED VIDEO: LISTEN: Mac Miller Was Working on Music Hours Before His Death

In November, Mayer opened up to Complex for a cover story, where he explained how their collaboration came about and reflected on Miller’s sudden death.

“I just wish it wasn’t fatal,” the musician said. “I just wish figuring out your life didn’t take your life away from you. I don’t have an answer for how to fix that, but once you get old enough to understand how valuable life is.”

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