Janelle Monáe Opens Up About 'Hidden Struggles' on Season Premiere of 'Red Table Talk'

Season 5 of Red Table Talk premieres on Facebook Watch on Wednesday

Janelle Monáe is speaking her truth.

The Grammy Award-nominated artist, 36, sits down with Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith, and Adrienne Banfield-Norris on the Season 5 premiere of Facebook Watch's Red Table Talk on Wednesday in an episode titled "Janelle Monáe's Hidden Struggles" to talk all about her new book, The Memory Librarian: And Other Stories of Dirty Computer.

The LGBTQIA+ icon also talks about why she came out later in life, her abandonment issues and how she healed from the traumatizing effects of her father's drug addiction.

In an exclusive preview shared with PEOPLE ahead of the episode's premiere, Monáe says, "Thinking back to when I first started, I was like, man, as free as I was on stage, when I came off stage, I was still that scared little girl. Like I'm not good enough."

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

"That was always in the back of my mind," she continues. "Will they love me? My parents were not together and I always thought it was me. Why am I not being taken care of by my dad? He had gotten on crack cocaine, and that changed his life. It changed our relationship. Now, he's clean. Completely sober, he's doing incredible, he's like my best friend."

Adds Monáe: "But this was when he was sick. I was dealing with real rejection, abandonment issues. What if people leaving me was a direct correlation to my dad? And always feeling like, if I wasn't perfect, would they leave me. I don't want to feel the pain of anybody leaving me."

RELATED VIDEO: Janelle Monáe Reveals She's 'Proud to be a Queer, Young Black Woman in America'

Monáe's mom, Janice Hawthorne, later joins the singer during her appearance on the Emmy Award-winning talk show, saying in the Season 5 trailer that dropped Tuesday, "I'm just happy someone invited me. I said, 'The Red Table? Are you kidding me!' "

Red Table Talk returns to Facebook Watch on Wednesday, April 20 (at 12 a.m. PT/3 p.m. ET) with new episodes streaming weekly.

Related Articles