Grammy Winner Fiona Apple Explains Why She's Skipping the Awards Show: 'I Wanna Stay Sober'
"It's just really because I don't want to be on national television," Apple said in a video on Instagram. "I'm just not made for that kind of stuff"
The singer-songwriter, 43, explained in an Instagram video posted Saturday that she wouldn't be attending the 63rd Annual Grammys, where she won two categories, because she wants to "stay sober" and wouldn't feel comfortable in the spotlight.
"I'm not gonna be at the Grammys. It's not because I'm trying to protest even though I have problems with the Grammys," she said in the video, posted by filmmaker and friend Zelda Hallman.
"It's just really because I don't want to be on national television," Apple continued. "I'm just not made for that kind of stuff. I wanna stay sober and I can't do that sober. It doesn't feel safe to me to be in that kind of exposure, scrutiny [and] comparison to people."
Ahead of Sunday night's televised show, Apple won best rock performance and best alternative music album for Fetch the Bolt Cutters. She was also nominated for best rock song.
Though she is skipping the ceremony, Apple said she hoped "everybody who is into the Grammys has a wonderful time watching them and a wonderful time enjoying all the performances."
"And, I hope the people who want to win, win," she said.
With the release of her most recent album last year, Apple spoke candidly about her alcohol use and how sobriety had changed her.
"I was keeping myself in a stupor so I wouldn't have to deal with things and keeping myself drunk so I could be able to pretend certain things. That's a big thing that happens if you're a heavy drinker," she told New York magazine. "If it's an everyday thing and then you stop, so many memories come back. You didn't even realize what you were trying to push down until you stop pushing it down. It all comes out and then you're like, 'Oh f---, give me the vodka again.' It's hard, but I feel so much more sure of myself because I'm sober."
She said then that she had been sober for "two years maybe," or three.
In addition to discussing the Grammys, Apple also used her video announcement on Saturday to ask fans to sign a petition that would keep virtual courts access open.
Check out PEOPLE's full Grammys coverage to get the latest news on music's biggest night.
"What really, really is undeniably important is the transparency in the courtrooms and for that reason, I want to ask anybody who's looking at this to please sign this petition to keep the virtual access open for court watchers," she continued. "Specifically for PG [Prince George] County, Maryland which is the court-watching group that I'm part of."
"They're trying to shut us out and you gotta question it," she continued. "Why are you trying to shut us out? What don't you want us to see?"
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Apple went on to argue that there are people "who are being held pre-trial on non-violent charges, on bonds they can't afford, on no bond, and it's ruining families and f—ing with futures that we need to help protect."
"Please sign this petition and pass it around to as many people as you can. Have them sign it too," she finished. "And enjoy your Sunday."
The Grammy Awards, hosted by Trevor Noah, will air Sunday at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT on CBS Television Network and Paramount+.