"From a very young age I struggled with drinking and drugging as an escape because I hated life, and I didn't want to be here," Frankie Jonas revealed in a TikTok video

Frankie Jonas is getting real about his difficult journey to sobriety.

In a video posted to his @frankiejonastherapist TikTok account on Monday, the 20-year-old brother of Nick, Joe and Kevin Jonas opened up about how he struggled with addiction and suicidal thoughts prior to getting sober a year and a half ago.

"This is by no means the eloquent explanation I hope to give on a much more serious mode than this. However from a very young age I struggled with drinking and drugging as an escape because I hated life, and I didn't want to be here," Jonas said in the video, which was posted in response to a fan who asked him about his experience with addiction. "I eventually, after many years of trying to kill myself accidentally, came to a point where I was going to do it for real."

"Something intervened, and my life was saved," he continued. "I went to treatment, and it saved me. I couldn't be more grateful for the fact that I'm alive today because my world has changed so beautifully and so astronomically, and I am not that person anymore. I couldn't be more grateful that I'm alive and happy."

In an earlier video, Jonas — who is currently a student at Columbia University in New York City — referred to himself as a "sober drug addict" when answering a question from a fan about whether he ever experiences imposter syndrome.

"I am a sober drug addict who goes to Columbia University now," he said. "I don't belong there! It's okay that I feel that, but it doesn't make me less than anyone else, it doesn't make me more than anyone else. It's also good to understand that imposter syndrome can sometimes lead to a messiah complex, and that's not good either. But it's okay to be in the middle."

Frankie Jonas TikTok
Frankie Jonas
| Credit: Frankie Jonas/Tiktok

Jonas went on to say that he has to "remind" himself that he's "proud for being here in the first place."

"It doesn't matter if I get A's or F's — I f—ing made it," he said. "Like, the middle of the pack is a great place to be as long as I'm comfortable with myself. My mental health, stability and love of life is the priority. If I can use that while learning, then let's get it."

Last week, Jonas revealed that the "most valuable" lesson he's learned in his life is that it's "okay not to be okay."

"There was a point in my life a little over a year and a half ago where after many, many years of struggles where I thought it wasn't okay to not be okay, it was between me or the ledge and someone asked me, point blank — before I made the worst mistake of my life — if I was actually okay," he said in a March 14 video. "They asked me to stop lying, and I said, 'No.' It saved my life."

"I couldn't be more grateful to the universe for putting that person and those words in front of me to understand that it's okay to not be okay because I wasn't," he added. "I needed help."

On March 10, Jonas — who faced a marijuana possession charge in 2016 — called his journey to sobriety "one of the biggest blessings and most incredible and hardest journeys of my life."

"The first step is acceptance," he said. "And if it's really something you want, you know, right now AA and NA and all those sorts of programs are all online, so you can kind of do whatever. Just look up Intergroup or those sorts of resources to find Zoom meetings. It's easy. You just have to accept that you need help and that there's other people who can help you. So, hopefully that helps. All the love in the world."

In addition to his therapy account, Jonas has his main @iamfrankiejonas account, which has amassed nearly 2 million followers since he created it last October. During an appearance on The Kelly Clarkson Show on March 7, Jonas' older brother Nick, 28, said he was "very proud" of him for his rising popularity on the app.

"I think it's amazing," Nick said. "He's always had a really unique sense of humor and a unique voice as a comedic person … He's just brilliant. And he's, you know, he's the star. We're all just Frankie's brother now."