Ed Sheeran Began Therapy After Wife Noticed Suicidal Thoughts: 'I Felt Like I Didn't Want to Live'

The Grammy winner told Rolling Stone about how two friends' deaths and wife Cherry Seaborn's health struggles brought his depression to the surface

Ed Sheeran Rolling Stone
Ed Sheeran. Photo: Liz Collins

Ed Sheeran is opening up about his mental health journey.

In a new cover story with Rolling Stone published Tuesday, the Grammy winner spoke candidly about how several dark events brought his long-dormant depression to the surface, which led Sheeran's wife Cherry Seaborn to encourage him into therapy.

While Seaborn, 30, was six months pregnant with the pair's second daughter, Jupiter, in February 2022, she was diagnosed with a tumor and ended up having surgery to remove it on the same day as the 32-year-old musician's June tour stop at London's Wembley Stadium. "There's nothing you can do about it," Sheeran told Rolling Stone. "You feel so powerless."

Also in February 2022, his longtime friend and former roommate, music entrepreneur Jamal Edwards, died at age 31 from a cocaine-induced cardiac arrhythmia. Sheeran found out about the loss one day after texting Edwards about plans to film a music video. "Twelve hours later," he said, "he was dead." Another one of his friends, Australian cricket player Shane Warne, died the following month.

Ed Sheeran Rolling Stone
Ed Sheeran. Liz Collins

Around the same time, the "Bad Habits" singer-songwriter was wrapped up in a plagiarism lawsuit centered around his hit "Shape of You," which he eventually won. But when Edwards died, he fell into the depths of depression. "I've always had real lows in my life," Sheeran told the outlet. "But it wasn't really till last year that I actually addressed it."

The musician explained that he'd dealt with depression since childhood, partly due to feeling outcasted at his "sport-oriented" elementary school for having "bright red hair, big blue glasses, a stutter" and "a perforated eardrum" preventing him from athleticism.

"You're just singled out for being different at that point. I've kind of blocked out a lot of it, but I have a real hang-up about that," said Sheeran. "I think it plays into wanting to be on a stage and have people like you and stuff."

Eventually, the devastating events led him to become even more depressed. "I felt like I didn't want to live anymore," he recalled. "And I have had that throughout my life.… You're under the waves drowning. You're just sort of in this thing. And you can't get out of it."

Ed Sheeran, Cherry Seaborn
Ed Sheeran and Cherry Seaborn. Stephen Pond/Getty

Sheeran felt "embarrassed" and considered such thoughts to be "selfish" given his position as a father of two: Lyra, 2, and Jupiter. But Seaborn soon encouraged him to attend therapy, and he obliged. "No one really talks about their feelings where I come from," said the British performer.

He continued, "People think it's weird getting a therapist in England.… I think it's very helpful to be able to speak with someone and just vent and not feel guilty about venting. Obviously, like, I've lived a very privileged life. So my friends would always look at me like, 'Oh, it's not that bad.'"

While it's been a time-consuming process, seeking help has improved the way he deals with his mental health. "The help isn't a button that is pressed, where you're automatically OK," said Sheeran. "It is something that will always be there and just has to be managed."

If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.

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