Demi Lovato Says Her Past Drug Use Was a 'Coping Mechanism': 'I Genuinely Was in So Much Pain'
"In the same way it almost killed me, it saved my life at times, because there were times that I dealt with suicidal ideations," the singer said of her past substance abuse
Demi Lovato is addressing the bad — and good — in some of her past decisions.
While appearing on an upcoming episode of Diane Guerrero's podcast, Yeah No, I'm Not OK, the 28-year-old singer opened up about her mental health and past drug use, namely addressing the misconceptions about both, according to E! News.
"In the same way [drug use] almost killed me, it saved my life at times, because there were times that I dealt with suicidal ideations," Lovato continued, calling her addiction a "destructive coping mechanism" that gave her something else to put her focus on.
Lovato added that she believes she "turned to those coping mechanisms because I genuinely was in so much pain that I didn't want to die and I didn't know what else to do."
Noting that she now has "other tools and other resources" to help her, Lovato told Guerrero, 34, "I did the best that I could at times."
"I know how else to deal and how else to cope so I don't have to resort to those behaviors again," she added, according to E! News' preview of the episode.
Lovato also touched on why she is so open about her past experiences, explaining, "I would look at people in the media and I would just compare myself — not feel good enough, not feel thin enough — and wonder how it was that these people were living lives that seemed so perfect but yet I was in so much pain."
"And when I got into the spotlight, I was like, 'Oh, it's not perfect here, nobody has a perfect life, it just looks that way,' " she added, E! News reported.
The "Warrior" crooner also hopes to pull apart the "facade for Hollywood." Lovato said that she never tries to fit a certain mold of herself.
"I've tried on many identities over the years," she said. "The sexy feminine pop star that I felt like people wanted me to be or the poster child for recovery. And now I'm embracing the fact that my lack of commitment to any one identity isn't a lack of commitment. It's just an openness to continue to evolve."
RELATED VIDEO: Demi Lovato Has 'Brain Damage' After Suffering 3 Strokes and a Heart Attack Following 2018 Overdose
Last month, as the trailer debuted for her Demi Lovato: Dancing with the Devil docuseries, the singer told PEOPLE during the Television Critics Association panel that she "wouldn't change a thing" about what happened after her 2018 near-fatal drug overdose.
"Everything had to happen in order for me to learn the lessons that I learned," Lovato said. "It was a painful journey, and I look back and sometimes I get sad when I think of the pain that I had to endure to overcome what I have, but I don't regret anything."
"I'm so proud of the person I am today," she added. "And I'm so proud that people get to see it in this documentary and I couldn't be more grateful that I had someone by my side."
With her overdose and journey, the singer said she wanted to "set the record straight" about her life.
"I wanted to reveal it all for my fans and say this is who I am and this is where I'm at today and this is the journey that got me here, and if it helps you, then I hope that it can because that was ultimately my purpose in putting this out," she told reporters.
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, please contact the SAMHSA substance abuse helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.