Ciara has since moved on with Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson

By Rachel DeSantis
June 03, 2019 02:50 PM
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Ciara is opening up about the difficult decision she made to leave her former fiancé Future.

The “Thinkin’ Bout You” singer, 33, split from the rapper, 35, in 2014, just three months after the pair welcomed son Future.

Looking back, Ciara says that despite the fear that came with choosing to be a single mom, the course of action was the right one, as it relieved her of her greatest fear: wasting her life.

“I grew up with my mom and dad being together. The idea of it being mommy and daddy that made baby,” she said Monday on Jada Pinkett Smith’s Facebook Watch series Red Table Talk. “Also, you’re living your life in front of the world, so that adds a whole ‘nother layer. I feel like I’m failing right now, they gon’ roast me.”

Future, Ciara, Russell Wilson
| Credit: Ethan Miller/Getty; Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic

She continued, “The one thing I fear in life is really wasting my life. I really fear that ‘cause you realize that time does not stop and it will be the worst scenario to stay in a situation that it’s just not healthy, it’s not going to get any better. I realized that I have to start making different decisions.”

Among those decisions was committing to ending her relationship, a choice Ciara said she wavered on for a long time before realizing she wasn’t getting what she wanted out of life.

“When I was thinking about my son, I know what I want to feel. I know the kind of love that I want for us,” she said. “What I did was – [son] Future was like my teddy bear. So I was like, we gon’ go. We ‘bout to do this thing together.”

RELATED VIDEO: Russell Wilson and Ciara Bring Their Adorable Children to the Kids’ Choice Sports Awards

The star said she also looked to her parents’ marriage as guidance, comparing their love to her own relationship — and not liking the results.

“I had to take a couple of times to figure it out, but my dad’s love is what saved me in all my situations, because it would get to a point where I was like, my dad wouldn’t do this to my mom. This can’t be love,” she explained. “I’ve always had the same goal of wanting to be loved a certain way, but I was just walking in the wrong direction.”

Future Zahir Wilburn, Ciara and Russell Wilson
Credit: Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic

Though she says dating as a single mom was initially intimidating, Ciara eventually moved on with NFL superstar Russell Wilson, who came into the picture when her son was 10 months old.

The couple eventually married in July 2016, and welcomed daughter Sienna Princess in April 2017.

“It was different,” she told Smith of meeting Wilson. “I never had that feeling in my life. It was just like, it was calm … It’s a different level of love.”

Ciara released her seventh album, Beauty Marks, in May.