The "Jar of Hearts" singer reflected on the challenging past year where she almost relapsed in a candid Instagram post on Friday

By Joelle Goldstein
March 01, 2019 07:35 PM
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Christina Perri is celebrating seven years of sobriety — but that doesn’t mean it came with ease.

On Friday, the “Jar of Hearts” singer reflected on the major 2,557-day milestone and admitted that 2018 came with several challenges that almost caused her to relapse.

Despite those bumps in the road, Perri, 32, said she learned the true meaning of persistence and the power of taking things day by day.

“this year was hard. this year was actually the hardest one yet,” she began the candid Instagram post, alongside a photo from the 12 Steps Companion iPhone application.

“the truth is i almost didn’t make it. i almost lost my sobriety, my sanity, my faith, my marriage, and myself… about 100 times,” she revealed, adding, “but here i am, i was carried, and for this i am grateful.”

After thanking those who “carried” her through the trying time, Perri went on to share what she has taken away from the experience.

“in spite of all circumstances, in spite of every moment that feels impossible, and in spite of everything your head may tell you, it STILL works if you work it, one day at a time ❤️🙏🏼” she said.

The emotional post comes a month after Perri revealed that she had struggled with postpartum depression following the birth of her daughter Carmella Stanley in January 2018.

Christina Perri and daughter Carmella
| Credit: Emily Winiker

“That got me the hardest when I stopped breastfeeding around Christmas. I was so sad and so dark,” Perri told PEOPLE of her 13-month-old, whom she shares with husband Paul Costabile. “We’re almost made to pretend it’s not happening, like, ‘It’s fine. I’ve got this.'”

After sharing her struggle on social media, Perri said more than 15,000 mothers reached out over Instagram, sending messages of support.

To cope with her depression, Perri threw herself into music and developed a lullaby collection called Songs for Carmella: Lullabies & Sing-a-Longs for her daughter.

The album — which includes classics, as well as a stripped-down rendition of Perri’s hit “A Thousand Years” — was the singer-songwriter’s first release since becoming a mom. And it was the perfect segue back to work for Perri.

“Putting out new songs that I sang to her all year feels so authentic and genuine as to where I’m at in my real life. I am a huge fan of when people are authentic of where people are at,” she told PEOPLE of the album that was released on Jan. 17, her daughter’s first birthday.

“Carmella’s my favorite person to sing for. I thought, Wouldn’t it be cool if I could tiptoe back into being an artist?” Perri continued.

Christina Perri and daughter Carmella
| Credit: Christina Perri/Instagram

“I just didn’t want to jump into a new project that wasn’t related to how amazing my life is right now due to my daughter,” she added of the “humbling” transition into motherhood. “That’s the biggest and best thing that’s ever happened to me, so I didn’t want to pretend that didn’t happen.”

With a tough 2018 now behind her, Perri said she’s looking forward to what’s next.

“I got married, bought a house and had a baby the same year. Talk about blessings! That’s a dream,” she said. “All I ever wanted was a family, and that’s where I’m at now! It’s like a Disney movie.”