'Darling, You Need to Get Laid': Carly Simon Encouraged Then-Husband Jim Hart to Visit a Brothel and More from His Memoir

Jim Hart reveals secrets about his marriage to Carly Simon and his homosexuality

Carly Simon and Jim Hart
Photo: The LIFE Picture Collection/Getty

Jim Hart was married to singer Carly Simon for almost 20 years, and in his new memoir Lucky Jim he reveals a marriage filled with kinky sex and mutual jealousy. Ultimately, their union ended with his addiction to crack cocaine and not-so-secret homosexuality.

According to the book, their connection was intense but problematic from the beginning. Around the time they met, Hart recalls visiting a movie theater that he describes as a “gay cruising space.”

“It was the beginning of the AIDS crisis, and the men looked more and more suspicious to me,” he writes. “I never touched anyone — I was petrified. I was frightened to be there, but I went anyway. A few weeks before meeting Carly, I thought I should I should see a therapist about this part of myself. I was confused. I so thoroughly enjoyed women and yet…”

According to Lucky Jim, Simon and Hart married six months after their first encounter. Here are other fascinating insights to their relationship taken from the book.

Carly Simon's ex-husband brands her "insecure, "paranoid" and "jealous" in new book
Peter Simon/Splash

Simon hired a detective and wore a disguise to spy on her husband.

In the book, Hart reveals that Simon “didn’t always feel so happy and sure of herself.” When she suspected Hart of cheating on her, she hired a detective. One night when he attended a writing class, Simon took matters into her own hands.

“I caught a glimpse of her bright red hair, spike heels, and red lipstick,” writes Hart. “She had a short black veil hanging from her hat covering the top half of her face. In a thickly accented voice, she said, ‘Good evening!’ I turned and stared straight at her. I took me a moment to realize that it was Carly dressed as a Latina hooker. She had come to the YMCA on West 63rd street to see the women who were in love with me and confirm for herself the veracity of the detective’s reports.”

Hart was jealous of Mick Jagger.

The couple went to see a Rolling Stones concert with John Kennedy Jr. and a few other well-known friends. At one point, Hart was excluded from Simon’s visit with Jagger (with whom she had an affair while engaged to James Taylor).

“I was sure this was intentional and I seethed throughout the entire concert, thinking how ridiculous Jagger looked strutting around the stage…” writes Hart, who explains that he confronted Simon about her visit with Jagger. “As I entered our apartment and saw Carly, I couldn’t stop myself. Rage filled me so I began screaming awful things at my wife. [Carly’s son] Ben eventually emerged from his room and said he was going to call 911 if I didn’t stop. I could see from the fear in his eyes that he wasn’t kidding.”

In an interview with PEOPLE about her own memoir, Simon addressed her love for Jagger.

“If Mick could have his way, it would be Romeo and Juliet tragic,” she said. “We couldn’t have each other.”


Simon ordered Hart to go to a brothel.

According to Lucky Jim, the couple eventually became distant.

“She would later realize that she was no longer physically attracted to me, and yet, like me, she so wanted to be,” writes Hart. “She arrived at a quirky and definitive solution. ‘Darling, you need to get laid.’ ”

So, with Simon’s encouraging voice on the phone, he went to Chinatown.

“As I looked at the selection, I realized that nothing about this attracted me,” he recalls. “I was about to betray my marriage vows without an ounce of desire. This was completely off the mark; the last thing I wanted tonight was an Asian prostitute in a seedy massage parlor.”

He left and immediately called Simon to explain that he couldn’t do it. Hart writes that later that night he went to a male strip club, where he “felt at home.”

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“I wondered if I could share this with Carly, and then I buried it and realized I never would,” he writes. “How could I explain it to her? I had little understanding of it myself, but it certainly didn’t feel like infidelity.”

Lucky Jim hits bookshelves Tuesday.

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