Camila Cabello, formerly of girl group Fifth Harmony, announced her first solo single, “I Have Questions,” is on the way off her forthcoming album, The Hurting, the Healing, the Loving, on her Twitter Sunday, providing fans a candid explanation for the music’s inspiration.
After revealing the single’s May 19 release date, the 20-year-old wrote, “’The hurting the healing the loving’ is the story of my journey from darkness into light, from a time when i was lost to a time when i found myself again. The story behind the album starts with the second song that you’ll hear called ‘I have questions’ which I started writing in a hotel bathroom on tour a little over a year ago. i was completely broken during that time, i was in the kind of pain that’s uncomfortable to talk about, and it was the kind of chapter you never want to read out loud….”
The “Bad Things” singer continued describing the raw process of penning these songs.
“I couldn’t write another song for 6 months because writing meant i had to feel everything, and i wasn’t ready to do that yet. so when i graduated from hotel bathrooms to studios to make my first album, i was making music about everything BUT what i was going through, it was like a secret burning on my tongue till one day i just could not run anymore. i pulled up the lyrics from the year before, and ‘i have questions’ was written,” she said.
But her songwriting eventually took a more positive bend.
“After that i wrote a sad song everyday, everything i wanted to say, every lyric on my phone, i said everything until i got tired of writing about it. until i was sick of the sad songs!!!!! as i got happier and happier, i realized the songs were getting happier and happier. and i realized i wasn’t making music just to make an album anymore, i was making this music to heal. it wasn’t until i had made enough songs to listen back to and realized i could hear myself coming back through these songs. i didn’t write it with the intention of delivering a message, but i realized the message was in the hurting, the healing, and the loving. i might have thought the hurting was my enemy before, but she became the best listener… i might have thought i was too impatient for the healing, and it did feel like sometimes she was taking forever, but i realized it made me appreciate her so much more when she arrived. and the loving, i wouldn’t have known how beautiful she was if i couldn’t miss her all that time,” Cabello revealed.
She wrapped up her letter referencing the forthcoming album’s title: “To the hurting, thank you for teaching me that even if at night you take me into the deepest depths of the ocean, i will still wake in the morning. to the healing, thank you for the tears. when they finally came, they tasted like God. to the loving, you are even more beautiful than i remember.”
Cabello will sing an encore performance of “I Have Questions” on Xfinity X1 immediately following the Billboard Music Awards on Sunday.
Asked if she’s been in touch with any of the other women – Lauren Jauregui, Ally Brooke, Normani Kordei and Dinah Jane – since then, Cabello said, “No.”
Further, she said she reached out directly to the women. “I don’t want to get into the details of that, because it was really intense and it’s hard for me to talk about. It makes me sad,” she said.
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The 20-year-old said she was surprised by their reaction to her desire for a solo career, explaining, “I hoped that it would be a peaceful turning of the page and we would root for each other. But I only got love for them.”
Fifth Harmony was assembled by Simon Cowell during the second season of The X Factor in 2012 and placed third in the Fox reality singing competition, later signing a record deal with the music mogul which resulted in smash hits like “Work From Home.” An insider told PEOPLE in December that Cabello and the other members “hadn’t gotten along.”