Billie Eilish Says It's 'Hard for Me to Watch' Her New Documentary: 'I Was Super Annoying Then'

"It's a weird way to live, but it was also fun," Eilish said about recording the documentary, calling the process "invasive"

Billie Eilish's life story is headed to the small screen in just days — even if it's sometimes hard to watch!

On Tuesday night, Eilish appeared on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert to talk about filming her Apple TV+ documentary Billie Eilish: The World's a Little Blurry. While the film doesn't show "everything" about her life at the time, she says it's a good "sliver" of the past three years.

"You're seeing a sliver of my life at that time," Eilish, 19, said, before explaining that she would watch artist documentaries as a kid and think she knew "everything" about the artist. "It's not all that was going on. There's a ton that isn't in there. It's pretty much me."

"And it's kind of a huge bummer because I was super annoying then," she added. "It's rough. It's hard for me to watch."

Eilish said it took her five hours to watch the documentary's first cut — which was three hours long — because she kept pausing it. While the recording process was "a bit invasive" at times, she said she was happy with how everything turned out.

Billie Eilish
Billie Eilish. Frazer Harrison/Getty

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"As human beings, we tend to feel pretty irrelevant all the time. And even though it was very invasive and a lot at some point, and sometimes I just was like, 'You gotta go,' it was fun to have people that are literally there just to watch you live your life because there's nothing like that," Eilish said.

"It's a weird way to live, but it was also fun and they were really respectful," she added.

Eilish also opened up to Colbert about becoming "accessible" artist to her fans, and that when she was younger, that was easy to do, but as she's gotten more famous, "it's gotten really hard."

"It's not easy to be accessible to everyone, especially because there are some creeps out there so you want to be accessible to the good ones, but how are you going to be accessible if you're not accessible to the bad ones?" she said. "You can't have a bad moment. Doesn't matter what you're feeling because it's their best moment."

"I find myself like, 'Oh my God, I don't want to take a picture,' and then I'm like 'You know what? You know how minor this is for me to do to make someone really happy?'" she added. "You forget that. That that moment means so much to those people. The smallest thing can mean the biggest thing."

Eilish said she wants everyone to feel "the highest high" whenever fans meet her. She also talked about her own experience meeting her idol: Justin Bieber.

"It was insane. I can't even tell you," she said. "I can't even begin to think about me at 12 hearing what my life is now. I can't even fathom it... It was unbelievable."

"Nobody gets to meet their idols really, I never thought I could've gotten to but I've gotten much more than that and it's completely surreal. And I don't understand it at all," she added.

Eilish also revealed that, despite the pandemic, she was able to make an album.

"None of the year went at all the way I thought. I'm just glad I had the year before that to have a moment," she said. "I made an album and I don't think I would've been the same album or even the album at all if it weren't for COVID."

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