December 05, 2018 03:03 PM

Though Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson‘s sudden split came as a shock to many of her fans, the singer wasn’t looking to surprise her ex-fiancé when she dropped her hit single “Thank U, Next.”

In her new Billboard cover story, the star, 25, refuses to discuss the specifics of her breakup with the Saturday Night Live star, also 25, but reveals she gave him a heads-up before the track’s release.

“I wasn’t going to blindside anybody,” she told the outlet. Many have criticized the young singer for moving on quickly from exes, and both she and Davidson fielded online bullying because of their over-the-top PDA.

Ariana Grande
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However, Grande explains that her public romances aren’t something she can control. “This is how I meet people — I can’t just, like, meet someone at a bar,” she adds. “I live fast and full-out, and I make mistakes, and I learn from them and I’m grateful no matter what happens.”

The empowering song — which was written “mostly” in a week and also shouts out her exes Mac Miller, Big Sean and Ricky Alvarez — is her favorite track Grande has ever released.

“It’s me and my besties tipsy off champagne — and me with my broken heart — just letting it out and having fun,” she says. “I love this more than any other song I’ve ever put out.”

Ariana Grande
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Heading out on tour in March, Grande is continuing to heal from the trauma of the last couple years and channeling her heartbreak into a new album.

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“This [album’s] not particularly uplifting. A lot of it sounds really upbeat, but it’s actually a super sad chapter,” she says.

Still, the star is looking forward to the future and working harder than ever. “I guess there’s not much I’m afraid of anymore,” she says. “When life tries you with such serious s— so many times, your priorities change. I don’t give a s—. I just want to be happy and healthy — one day — and make music.”

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