Tiffany Haddish Jokes She 'Pooped' Herself in an Uber: 'I'm Pretty Sure My Uber Rating Dropped'
The comedian is opening up about her "bad day at work" while at a stand-up comedy routine
Tiffany Haddish might not want to go overboard in Miami again.
The 39-year-old actress and comedian is opening up about her “bad day at work” while at a stand-up comedy routine in Miami for New Year’s Eve.
Haddish recounted to Jimmy Kimmel on Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Wednesday that her friends had convinced her, the night before, to celebrate her successful year with a night out on the town.
“I was like, ‘Ah, no, I’d rather go to sleep. I got a big show tomorrow.’ They’re like, ‘’You need to celebrate all your successes! Come on, Tiff, you won an Emmy, you got a movie that made over $100 million. You need to celebrate!'” she explained.
Convinced, Haddish partied with her friends and “danced all night” before her gig.
“I drank more than I’ve ever drank in my entire life. My kidneys fell out,” she said. “I’m pretty sure my Uber rating dropped a little low, ’cause I pooped on myself a little bit in the Uber. It was bad! It was bad.”
The next morning, the Girls Trip star revealed her hangover left her feeling like she “was dead.”
“I definitely woke up dead. I was hurting really bad and they were like: ‘Come in, Tiff, you gotta make a video to let everybody know where you gonna be,'” she said.
When it came time to get ready for her show, Haddish revealed she was so out of it she “didn’t know where I was performing there. I couldn’t remember the name of the venue. The wind was blowing in my face. I couldn’t open my eyes.”
“When I get to the theater, I’m backstage and it was like they was getting me ready for my funeral,” she continued, “And I go out onstage, I’m like, ‘Hey everybody!’ And all these cellphone camera lights came up. And I looked out, and people was cheering and I was looking at everybody and I saw the lights, and my soul just left my body.”
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She added, “I don’t know if you know this about Miami, but that’s where the Devil is, and he was trying to snatch my soul out my body that day.”
While Haddish joked about the experience, she did say she was performing at another stand-up in Miami this summer and wanted to make it up to the fans at her New Year’s Eve show.
“Anyone who has a ticket from New Year’s Eve from that night, they can get in for free if they present the ticket, and if they don’t have the ticket, they can pay — it’s gonna be like $20,” she said. “And then all the money that we do get from that show, I’m gonna donate to the Department of Children Services.”
Haddish owned up to her failure immediately after, tweeting out a report of the show with a note, “Yes, this happened.”
“I wish it was better Miami,” she wrote. “I prayed on it and I have a strong feeling this will never happened [sic] again.”