Tiffany Haddish Says She Doesn’t Have Time for Men — Just the 'Toys That I Get Off of Groupon'
"Batteries are a girl’s best friend," Haddish joked during an appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Tiffany Haddish might not have time to date right now, but that doesn’t mean she’s spending her nights alone.
“My goal is to do 50 movies by the time I’m 50,” Haddish, 38, said on Thursday during an appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
Asked whether she’d been forced to give up on any aspect of her personal life, the Night School star replied, “I’ve kept up with most everything, but I haven’t been dating.”
“My personal relationships haven’t been that good, but I have been keeping up with my weighted blankets and my toys that I get off of Groupon. And batteries — batteries are a girl’s best friend,” she quipped, before flashing Colbert a cheeky grin.
For those who, like Colbert, aren’t exactly sure what a weighted blanket is, Haddish — who just won an Emmy for hosting Saturday Night Live — went on to explain that it’s a 25-pound blanket that’s filled with a sand-like material.
“You can throw that over your legs, and then you spray a little cologne over it and you throw it over your arms and it feels like a man is holding you,” she continued.
“And then you open up your nightstand drawer, put your batteries in…and go to sleep,” she added, while making an attempt to keep the anecdote PG-13.
Waxing on the benefits to this system, she remarked, “Then you don’t have to make him breakfast or talk to the weighted blanket or nothing.”
Haddish, who became a spokesperson for Groupon this year, has a long history of using the discount service — including the one time she took Girls Trip costar Jada Pinkett-Smith and her husband Will Smith on a now-infamous Louisiana swamp tour.
But surprisingly, a different purchase tops her list of all-time favorite Groupon purchases.
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“The best Groupon I ever bought — the best, best, best, best, best one — was when I bought the bidet,” Haddish previously told PEOPLE. “It was like, $298. And it’s like, you can attach it to your toilet. So you take your toilet seat off, put that one on, and it has a reservoir tank, it hooks up to the pipes and stuff. It uses the same water that the toilet uses. It had a three-way adapter thing and you plug it into the wall.”
And there was a bonus — Haddish got a date out of the experience after hiring an electrician to install an outlet for the bathroom fixture.
“The electrician was cute!” she exclaimed. “But I just got the one date because he ended up being weird. I didn’t like the way he chewed. The way he chewed his food was kind of gross.”
“That’s fine though. You don’t even need a man when you got a bidet. I saved so much money on toilet paper too — it’s the best. I feel so clean and fresh. It’s great!” she added.
Night School hits theaters on Sept. 28.