The couple has been together for over three decades

By Claudia Harmata
May 31, 2019 08:31 AM
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Stedman Graham appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Friday, where he revealed the secret to his decades-long relationship with Oprah Winfrey.

The author and educator explained that to have any successful relationship, you must first understand your own identity and have agency in your own aspirations, because only then will you be able to support your partner through theirs. Being able to find this balance is what has kept his partnership with the successful media mogul thriving for nearly 33 years.

“Well, the thing about our relationship is, so I’m dedicated to her happiness, so that’s great for her and I want her to be the best she can possibly be and she’s done a pretty good job of doing that,” Graham, 68, told host DeGeneres on the show. “And so for me, I’ve been able to find my own happiness, my own skills, my own talents, my own abilities and I’m satisfied with that. I’m happy with that.”

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“So the combination — when you have a good partner that is able to self actualize their potential and you’re able to self actualize yours,” Graham — whose new book, Identity Leadership, was released earlier this month — added.

Michael Rozman/Warner Bros.
Michael Rozman/Warner Bros.

For a while, there was some talk of Winfrey, 65, running in the 2020 presidential election, and although she has decided against doing so, Graham believes she would have made a great president.

“You know, you can trust her, number one, she’s smart, she has a photographic memory, she works very, very had, so she has the qualifications to do it,” he told DeGeneres. “And she’s very successful.”

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Last summer, Winfrey confirmed that running for office was out of the question.

“In that political structure ― all the non-truths, the bulls–t, the crap, the nastiness, the backhanded backroom stuff that goes on ― I feel like I could not exist,” Winfrey said in an interview with British Vogue. “I would not be able to do it. It’s not a clean business. It would kill me.”

She further told PEOPLE she prayed about a political run, explaining, ” ‘God, if you think I’m supposed to run, you gotta tell me, and it has to be so clear that not even I can miss it.’ And I haven’t gotten that.”

Earlier this year, Winfrey also revealed she would be taking a step back from acting while she focuses on other projects, like her multi-faceted partnership with Apple.

Jamie McCarthy/Getty

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“It doesn’t feed me anymore,” Winfrey told The Hollywood Reporter, adding that it did feed her for a time, including last year’s A Wrinkle in Time where she played an all-knowing being alongside Reese Witherspoon and Mindy Kaling.

“But I think to be really, really good at it, you’ve got to do it a lot. You’ve got to work at it. And it’s got to be something that you have true passion about. I don’t think it’s something you can dabble in,” she continued, “It was fun to be Mrs. Which, and I did that because I wanted to go to New Zealand and wear the costumes. But no, it doesn’t feed my soul anymore.”

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