Ryan Reynolds Is Giving Fans Hilariously Polite Excuses for Why He Can't Have Sex with Them
"Just planting fresh flowers at a local community center right now," he answered one fan cordially.
As a former Sexiest Man Alive, it’s no surprise Ryan Reynolds is receiving sexual propositions from fans on social media. But the increasingly bizarre nature of the requests has captured the star’s attention – and his imagination.
For instance, when one Twitter user suggested that Reynolds “eat my a–,” the actor said he was too busy doing some gardening around the neighborhood. “Aww. Just planting fresh flowers at a local community center right now,” he answered cordially.
When another fan asked if Reynolds would “f— me until I die,” the actor replied that he would be regrettably unavailable. “Sorry to miss it,” he tweeted back. “Just washing Kirk Cameron’s feet with liquid prayer.”
One Twitter user even offered his wife to the star. “Shag my wife Ryan,” he wrote plainly. Unfortunately, Reynolds was once again forced to decline. “No, I’m in Washington D.C. trying to broker real change,” he answered.
Another creative user asked the actor to “tear my appendix out [and] tickle my a—–.” But at the time, Reynolds said he was busy “just trying to finish this charcoal sketch of The Last Supper.”
In a strangely similar request, another adventurous fan asked, “Can you shove a chopstick up my a——?” But this time Reynolds was too busy saving wildlife. “Sorry, just trying to get this wild dolphin untangled from fishing line.”
As for how his wife, Blake Lively, is handling all these bizarre requests, Reynolds’ says he has a sneaking suspicion she could be involved. “I’ve got to ask, what does your wife say about these very explicit ‘fan requests’ you get?” one tweeter asked. “Pretty sure it’s my wife writing most of those,” he answered. “Sounds like her.”
And when another fan expressed concern for his daughter, James, reading these tweets one day, Reynolds was quick to calm any fears. “Jokes on you,” he wrote. “We’re not teaching her to read. Boom.”