In Her Own Words: Gwyneth Paltrow's Quotes on Love & Marriage

The actress hasn't exactly kept mum about her love life over the years

Though Gwyneth Paltrow, who is currently engaged to Brad Falchuk, has managed to keep details of her romantic life fairly quiet, the actress still has a lot to say about love. Here, a look back at her thoughts on her marriage, and love in general:

February 2009
“I’m amazed he stuck with me [at the time my dad died],” Paltrow told ELLE U.K. of then-husband Chris Martin. “because I was a wreck. I can’t believe that he did.” Despite her openness, she reiterated the couple’s pledge to privacy. “It doesn’t behoove us to be a public couple He certainly doesn’t want to be that. We’ve never ever walked down a red carpet together, we never will. If people think that that means we’re not together, then – ha ha ha! – so be it.”

April 2010
“He is so great because he’s so supportive of me as an artist,” she gushed to Harper’s Bazaar about Martin. “I really lucked out with him. He’s deeply lovely and special.”

January 2011
“I definitely have to coax things out of him when we talk. You know, he’s British, so it’s a different lexicon totally,” the actress explained to Good Housekeeping. “But you have to communicate. Otherwise there’s no relationship.”

September 2012
“Our artistic temperaments together [is the hardest part],” Paltrow told InStyle. “Artists are sensitive. There are ups and downs, mood-wise. Musicians need a certain gravitas and focus in order to write. The temperament that goes with someone who is creative can be challenging.”

March 2013
“You’re not learning anything unless you’re having the difficult conversations,” she told Self. “Dealing with things directly changed my relationships. Sometimes when you get clear about who you are, others get less comfortable because they liked who you were. It’s changed my marriage, too, but he’s up for the challenge.”

May 2013
“I mean we’ve gone through terrible times where it’s been really, really hard, but I’ve sort of come through those times with a much deeper understanding of myself,” Paltrow revealed to PEOPLE. “And we’re still married. We worked through it. I think it’s easier to get divorced. But I think the more you can keep at it, the more you end up seeing the value in it. But, sometimes it is not easy.”

May 2013
“I asked my dad once, ‘How did you and Mum stay married for 33 years?’ And he said, ‘Well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time,'” Paltrow told Glamour UK. “And I think that’s what happens. When two people throw in the towel at the same time, then you break up, but if one person’s saying: ‘Come on, we can do this,’ you carry on.”

September 2013
“No couple is the same, and as such, every couple takes on different challenges,” she admitted to Refinery29 when asked for her thoughts on infidelity. “I would like to think that I would be forgiving and/or forgiven.”

January 2015
“I had built my life on trying to be all things to all people, and I just couldn’t do it anymore,” she told Marie Claire. “I really had the sense that I wasn’t allowed to have needs, and I had to prove my specialness or self-worth by doing all this stuff and taking care of everybody else. And I just sort of hit a wall.”

April 2016
“It’s like we are still a family, but not a couple,” the actress told Marie Claire Australia of co-parenting with ex-husband Chris Martin. “I think we are better as friends than we were [married]. We are very close and supportive of one another.”

December 2016
“To this day, Chris would take a bullet for me, even though I’m not his wife,” Paltrow said of her ex-husband to InStyle. “I honestly think Chris and I have contributed something positive to the culture of divorce.”

June 2017
“I wanted to turn my divorce into a positive,” Paltrow told The EDIT. “What if I didn’t blame the other person for anything, and held myself 100% accountable? What if I checked my own s— at the door and put my children first? And reminded myself about the things about my ex-husband that I love, and fostered the friendship? What I put myself through to get there was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

August 2017
“I’m actually a pretty good friend, and a good sister and a daughter and a mother, but I’m at my potentially most vulnerable and f—– up in the romantic slice of the pie,” she said on the Girlboss Radio with Sophia Amoruso podcast. “It’s taken me a lot of, a lot of work to get to the place where I have a good romantic relationship.”

January 2018
“Personally, at midlife, I have tried to accept how complex romantic love can be,” Paltrow said of getting married for a second time, to Glee co-creator Brad Falchuk, in Goop Magazine. “I have decided to give it a go again, not only because I believe I have found the man I was meant to be with, but because I have accepted the soul-stretching, pattern-breaking opportunities that (terrifyingly) are made possible by intimacy.”

January 2018
“I’m excited about everything!” Paltrow told PeopleStyle about the prospect of planning a wedding. “I’ve never had a wedding before. [Paltrow and ex-husband Chris Martin eloped in 2003.] So even though I’m 45, I sort of feel like a 21 year old.”

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