Gwyneth Paltrow Says Backlash to 'Conscious Uncoupling' from Ex Chris Martin Was 'Brutal'
Gwyneth Paltrow is opening up about the negative reactions to her use of "conscious uncoupling" from ex-husband Chris Martin in 2014
The Oscar-winner, 46, admitted she faced more than a heartbreaking split from the Coldplay singer, 42, in an interview with Dax Shepard for his podcast Armchair Expert.
“It had been coined in the ’70s, I think,” Paltrow said of using the term to announce their separation in 2014. “It’s such a beautiful concept. You’re staring down the barrel of a divorce, the worst outcome possible. My parents were married until my dad died. All my best friends … all their parents were married, they all married their college or high school person, they’re still married.”
She continued, “I just didn’t come from a world where there was a lot of divorce.”
Paltrow dedicated herself to researching the effects divorce has on children in order to provide her two kids with Martin — Apple, 14, and Moses, 12 — with a smooth transition.
“The most common wound that I heard from children of divorce was, ‘My parents couldn’t be in the same room and couldn’t be friends. It took three years, it took 18 years, it took — God forbid — the death of a close family member for them to sit at the same table,’ ” Paltrow explained. “I just thought, ‘I wonder if there’s a way to circumvent that and go directly to the point where we’re friends and we remember what we loved about each other, and constantly acknowledge that we created these incredible human beings together.'”
She added, “We’re a family, that’s it. We can pretend we’re not, and hate each other … or, [we can] try to reinvent this for ourselves.”
Despite her and Martin’s efforts to remain friends, the Goop founder said it “was so difficult.”
“I think at the time, I was in a lot of pain,” she said. “It felt like such a failure to me. It was so hard and I was so worried about my kids.”
The actress added the backlash that sparked from her use of the phrase “conscious uncoupling” felt like a “layer of the world turning on us about saying, essentially, we just want to be nice to each other and stay a family.”
“It was brutal,” she said of the negative reaction. “I already felt like I had no skin on.”
Martin and Paltrow were married for 11 years before they announced they were separating. Martin — who is now dating actress Dakota Johnson, 29 — has remained close friends with Paltrow, and the former couple is known for their modern family arrangement.
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Paltrow married TV producer Brad Falchuk in September. Martin even went on the couple’s honeymoon alongside the pair and family friends.
“We just took our honeymoon in the Maldives and we had a big family honeymoon over Christmas,” Paltrow revealed on Live with Kelly and Ryan in January.
She continued, “So, my new husband and his children, my children, my ex-husband, our best family friends [all went]. It was a very modern honeymoon.”
“Family structure can be reinvented and divorce doesn’t have to be devastating,” Paltrow told the outlet. “It doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship with somebody.”
“I think Chris and I were meant to be together and have our kids,” Paltrow continued. “But our relationship is much better like this: friends and co-parents and family.”