Why Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin Tried to Make Marriage Work: 'Man, Did We Love Our Children'

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin "desperately didn't want to hurt" to their two kids by separating, the actress wrote in a new essay for British Vogue

Chris MArtin and Gwyneth Paltrow
Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow with their kids. Photo: Gwyneth Paltrow/Instagram

Before deciding to consciously uncouple, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin did everything they could to save their marriage — for their children.

The actress and Goop founder, 47, penned an essay in British Vogue in which she detailed the end of her marriage to the Coldplay rocker, 43. She recalled the time from when she knew it was over to the backlash that followed from the two using the now-famous "consciously uncoupling" phrase introduced to them by a couple's counselor.

"My ex and I had always been friends. We laughed at the same things, shared a funny bones humour, impressions, utter silliness," Paltrow wrote. "We were moved by the same qualities in music: beautiful chords, innovation, harmonies. Peter Gabriel, Chopin, Sigur Rós – though I listened for pleasure and he like he was studying for an exam."

She continued, "We loved walking to and from Osteria Basilico through the park for pizza, especially on those British summer nights when the sun doesn’t ever seem to set. We loved road trips to the New Forest or to the seaside."

"But most of all," Paltrow wrote. "We loved our children. We were close, though we had never fully settled into being a couple. We just didn’t quite fit together. There was always a bit of unease and unrest. But man, did we love our children."

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. Colin Young-Wolff /Invision/AP

Martin and Paltrow share daughter Apple, 16, and son Moses, 14. The two "tried everything" to make their marriage work, she said.

"We did not want to fail. We didn’t want to let anyone down. We desperately didn’t want to hurt our children," she wrote. "We didn’t want to lose our family. The questions, both philosophical and tactical, seemed unfathomable: who sleeps where, how does bath time work, what do we say to the kids?"

RELATED VIDEO: Gwyneth Paltrow Wanted to Give Her Two Kids 'Space' Before Moving in with Husband Brad Falchuk

Paltrow "bent myself into every imaginable shape to avoid answering them. But one day, despite all our efforts, I found that I was not at a fork in the road. I was well down a path. Almost without realising it, we had diverged. We’d never find ourselves together in that way again."

The two exes did find a new way forward together, however. Now four years since their divorce was finalized, Paltrow and Martin have remained on good terms while co-parenting. The two have even found respective new loves: Paltrow got married in 2018 to TV writer and producer Brad Falchuk, while Martin has been dating actress Dakota Johnson since 2017.

Last October, the group celebrated Johnson's 30th birthday together, with both Martin and Paltrow attending. The trio and Falchuk have all even gone on vacations together.

"I know my ex-husband was meant to be the father of my children," Paltrow told British Vogue, "and I know my current husband is meant to be the person I grow very old with."

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