Demi Moore's Daughter Tallulah Willis Says Mother's Day Used to Make Her Feel Like 'Absolute Dust'
"I digested the entire celebratory nature of the day as an insensitive slight to MY pain and MY story," Tallulah wrote of her previous experience with Mother's Day
Tallulah, 26, shared on Instagram that the springtime holiday has not always been a joyful one for her — but that for three years, it was a day of heartache.
"Channeling love and strength to every mother to be, tired mamas, step moms, and mamas who’ve lost something precious. I’m sending it to anyone who struggles to celebrate a day when it reminds them of a loss," Tallulah wrote on Instagram alongside a photo of herself with Moore, 57.
"I didn’t talk to my mom for almost 3 years and during that shattered time this day would transport me from fragmented pieces to absolute dust," she continued. "I remember tearing up driving to work upon hearing a radio ad that cheerily recommend which ‘perfume Mom would absolutely adore’. I digested the entire celebratory nature of the day as an insensitive slight to MY pain and MY story."
"However, my story changed. Through a metamorphosis of inward self reflection and a malleability to forgive, 3 years did not stretch to forever. The gratitude of that truth has never lost its potency," Tallulah shared, adding that she is "magnetically transfixed" by her mom.
"I often wonder what kind of connection could be formed were I to meet the 26 year old Demi. I think we’d have a lot of laughter. The kind where you are silent and doubled over and gasping for a sliver of air," she continued. "The here and now is a day that started with a running hug to my maternal deity and a sloppy cheek kiss."
Tallulah concluded the post by addressing Moore directly: "I revel in all that you are @demimoore and all that you continue to teach me. I witness what this day means for you, and where you came from. Every nook and cranny of you is worthy and gilded. I love you."
"eternally your baby, tallulah belle," she wrote to close the note.
In another Instagram post, Tallulah took a more lighthearted tone when she shared a photo of her mom helping remove splinters from her derriere.
"but also a more accurate representation is D picking splinters out of my buns with a magnifying glass 🌹" she wrote in the caption.
Tallulah has opened up in the past about her complicated relationship with Moore.
During an appearance on Facebook’s Red Table Talk, hosted by Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith and Adrienne Banfield-Jones, along with Moore and sisters Rumer, 31, and Scout, 28, Tallulah revealed that she didn't get to know her mom very well until recently.
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“I felt like my mom made a choice to hold back certain things, like sharing about her past, and I think it always made me feel very far away from her,” Tallulah said. “And always made me feel like I didn’t know her very well. I knew she had a career, she met my dad, she grew up in New Mexico, but it was like that was it."
Reading Moore's memoir, Inside Out, however, made Tallulah realize that they have more in common than she previously knew.
“I think we deified her,” Tallulah said during the episode. “I think she was this larger than life being, and she was — I mean, I’m completely obsessed with her. Like I love her more than anything.”
Tallulah revealed elsewhere in the episode that she began drinking alcohol at age 14, and “almost died from alcohol poisoning" a year later at 15. At the behest of Rumer and Scout, Tallulah moved in with Moore sometime later as she sought treatment. The sisters agreed on Red Table Talk that that decision brought the family together after years of discord.
A source previously told PEOPLE that Moore now has a "beautiful relationship with all of her daughters."
"Demi feels bad about the years when she wasn’t healthy," the source said. "She really tries to make up for it now. Her daughters are amazing. Demi is involved in their everyday lives. And they are very supportive of Demi. They love that she wrote a memoir."