Let's face it — online dating is fun for no one. If you're not going to spend Valentine's Day with a boo, then curl up on a comfy couch and scroll through the worst dating app stories that might literally make you gasp out loud
As if dating wasn’t hard enough, dating apps have found a way to turn things from hard to damn near impossible. Between dodging catfishes to praying your date is a real person and not a bot, the odds of finding love through an app can feel pretty low.
But there’s no reason to give up — dating can help build character … right? Fortunately for you, these online daters have decided to share their worst dating app experiences so you don’t have to feel alone, reminiscing about the times you wish you never swiped right.
Hannah Sutker, 26
“I was working as a hostess in a burger shop and one night, I started swiping on Tinder because I got bored. I came across this really cute guy with a great job and a witty bio that convinced me we would hit it off. We chatted for about an hour and I told him I worked at a burger shop in Manhattan, but it’s a chain with locations all over the city so I didn’t think much of it. Then he asked if he could take me for drinks after work, which is my living nightmare because I definitely looked and smelled like I’d been working in a burger shop all day. I said ‘No’ and suggested we should meet up another day. He agreed and I thought that was the end of it.
Toward the end of my shift, I was extremely surprised to look up to see him walking in! He walked right up to me, smiled and excitedly said, ‘I found you!’ It was the creepiest thing I’ve ever experienced. There are at least a dozen locations in the city, which means he called every single location to find my shop. We chatted for a few seconds, and I waved over my manager while mouthing ‘Help’ over my shoulder.
Thankfully we were about to close, so my manager informed him I was needed in the back for inventory and cleaning. I got home about 45 minutes later and checked Tinder again to see if he’d offered up an explanation of some sort. Nope. But he did un-match me, as if I did something wrong. I never heard from him again, and I’m still so confused.”
Kris Cortez, 29
“I went on a date recently and as soon as she arrived, I could already feel that this was going to be awkward. Throughout the entire evening, every point of conversation led to a dead-end so I was not able to build further upon any topic. It was pretty defeating. By the end of the evening, when our server asked if we were finished with our meal, not only did she ask for her meal to be wrapped up to-go, but she also proceeded to ask if I was done with mine too and then asked the server if she could take my leftovers home as well. Then she asked if she could wrap up the leftover appetizers and our complimentary bread. By that point, I was surprised she didn’t take the rest of our water pitcher. Let’s just say after this, there was no second date.“
Taylor Schulte, 26
“I went on a date with a comedian, who took me to a comedy show. I love to laugh so I was super into the idea. Unfortunately for me, I had no idea he was the headliner until they called his name on stage, and I did not find him funny at all! I am very expressive with my face so thank goodness the room was dark. It actually turned out I was on a date with someone who has a Netflix special, who knew?”
“After going on too many first dates that weren’t panning out, including one where I drove 40 minutes to hear a guy brag about illegally squatting in a foreclosed house for a year, I decided to filter the guys I date like I do for work. (I sometimes cast guys for dating shows.) Instead of meeting immediately, I would do a 10-minute video or Skype call to assess them, which also gave them an opportunity to see if they would be interested in me.
The first guy that I video chatted with, who said that he worked in tech, really meant that he had an app idea and drove for a rideshare service. I noticed that he had a stuffed Elmo doll behind him in his apartment, so I asked him about that. ‘Oh this guy? He’s part of my collection…’ he said and then proceed to show me his entire stuffed animal selection. There’s nothing wrong with a 30-something year old man who has a stuffed animal selection, but alas, he was not for me.”
Vanessa Acosta, 29
“I started chatting with a dude on Tinder and we agreed to meet up pretty quickly. We ended up bar hopping a total of three bars that night and I was on an empty stomach. Toward the end of the night, I was telling him all of my most intimate, vulnerable thoughts and secrets.
Soon after, we went back to his place and I started to feel sick. I abruptly got up from where I was sitting, turned to face him and started throwing up all over him. It was a nightmare. He spent the entire night taking care of me, then he tucked me into bed and slept on the floor. That was in 2016 when I was 26. Three years later, I am still with the same guy! We are in love and have been together ever since. We always talk about how we might have one of the best Tinder stories out there. Who knew a horrible mess of a night would turn out to be one of the best relationships of my life.”
“A guy from Hinge asked me to get drinks, so we made plans to meet at a bar on a Friday night. I got my nails done the night before and canceled plans with a friend just to meet this guy. On the walk from the train, I noticed that he deleted his profile but he had already texted me that he was ‘5 minutes out,’ so I didn’t think anything of it. Then after waiting 15 minutes outside of the bar, I realized he wasn’t going to show. I tried texting him again but he had turned his phone off. Still to this day, I never heard from him.”
“It was my first date in five years since being widowed. I met the guy on Zoosk and we had good enough conversations for me to want to meet him for a date. We each lived 45 minutes away from the restaurant we chose but I made sure I looked cute. I even FaceTimed a guy friend for his opinion. I got there on time but he wasn’t there when I arrived. After 30 minutes passed, he had not called. I was pissed, but not stupid … I called him to tell him I was leaving soon and he apologized for being late; he said he’d be there in 10 minutes. When he arrived I was in shock. He looked nothing like the photos on his profile. I said nothing. The conversation was okay, but there was a lot of baggage and many sexual innuendos. After the date, he walked me to my car and then tried to make out with me. He asked me out again and I said no.”