By Grace Gavilanes
August 13, 2018 12:00 PM
Credit: Everett

Have you ever attended a wedding and thought, I give them a year, tops, not even an hour into the party? We won’t judge if you have; it happens to more guests than you think — and sometimes even when said guest is an employee of the couple.

A slew of wedding planners spilled on the awkward moment they realized their bride and groom would probably split. Keep reading to find out the tell-tale signs. And if you’re gearing up for your own big day, make sure you aren’t ignoring these red flags.

There’s Literally No Communication

“Just had a client appointment where the bride and groom didn’t speak to each other the entire time, and the mother of the bride was apparently unaware that her new son-in-law was Jewish. She threw a screaming fit and stormed out of the venue.”

They’re Not Equally Enthusiastic

“The excited-wife and whatever-husband. This wife is generally head-over-heels in love. They’ve been together for a long time, sometimes with multiple children. He couldn’t care less. The wife drags him along to everything, sometimes even selecting the bridal gown. Even though he doesn’t care, she desperately wants him to. This couple’s future depends on whether or not the wife has a realization during the planning process.”

Yelling Is Normal for Them

“We spoke with an older couple who could not agree on an indoor or outdoor wedding, big or small, reception or not, dancing or not. Everything was a yelling contest about their previous weddings — they were both divorced, embarking on their second marriages.”

They Have Contempt for Their Partner

“The couple did a cake tasting and every single time the groom tried to make a decision, the bride would get angry and ask him why he was trying to ruin her big day. She sighed every time he spoke, especially when he asked if he could at the very least get some additional cupcakes in the flavors he wanted since she was picking every cake tier flavor. She sighed in exasperation as if anything he wanted was a hassle. She even wanted to choose the flavors and decorations for his groom’s cake! I felt so bad for the poor guy.”

There’s a Complete Lack of PDA

“The body language was perplexing and then just sad during photos. Culturally, it’s not uncommon for PDA to be kept to a minimum, but the way she leaned away from him and could barely look at him … She was so obviously miserable. To this day I regret not offering to help her escape through a bathroom window. I told myself it was not my place to interfere and that I should just shut up and do my job.”

There’s an ‘Unwillingness to Compromise’

“I had a wedding couple come to see me by appointment to plan the music for their church wedding ceremony. They each brought their mothers to the planning session. Right out of the gate, they started arguing over choices for the Processional. The groom-to-be wanted something to show off the full organ whereas the bride-to-be wanted something smaller scaled and gentle. There was no middle ground, no matter what organ pieces I showed them. Then, of course, their mothers took sides and further intensified their bickering, even though I asked them politely to let the couple choose their own selections.

“In the end, it really wasn’t about the choice of music. It was about a fundamental crack in the foundation of their soon-to-be marriage: an unwillingness to compromise or to even hear what the other was attempting to convey. Sadly, their marriage ended in divorce in less than two years. How they made it that long I’ll never know.”

Money Is Everything to the Couple

“I worked a wedding, where the bride wouldn’t say, ‘for richer or poorer’ in her vows. She just kept saying, ‘for richer or richer.’ And she wasn’t joking. They didn’t last long.”

They Really Don’t Want to Be Around Each Other

“In one instance, the bride and groom just could not be bothered to be seen together at the wedding. I had to virtually drag them to get some photos of the two of them together and they kept walking off to hang out with their friends. It would have been one thing if they hadn’t seen their friends in forever, but one of the friends lived with them and the others were in the same town.”

They Adopt a New Personality

“Had a wedding I coordinated where the bride literally went from this sweet, kind and very fun person, to a meltdown-laden bridezilla. It was bad. I knew it wasn’t going last the moment she arrived at the venue. She tore up the guest list, and was furious at the groom because his family, most of them either elderly and disabled, weren’t at the ceremony yet (they were five minutes late, and parking was awful). So she decided to start the ceremony even though they weren’t there yet. The groom had zero say as he was a really quiet guy. During the bridal procession down the aisle, people kept arriving and having to walk down the aisle to get to their seats. She insulted each member of his family as they would enter the venue. They split a few weeks later.”

Reddit entries are edited for length and clarity.