Anyone with a working phone and a smidge of bravery can confidently tell you that dating is the absolute worst.
You might know someone whose little sister’s best friend met her dreamy husband on a dating app — and that’s great! And really freakin’ rare! — but it’s far more common to have a string of lukewarm/awful meet-cutes under your belt than a handful of solid ones. It’s 2018, and we’re all just trying to get by.
For some women, ignoring an uncomfortably forward guy’s advances isn’t enough. Hilariously (and effectively) taking matters into their own hands is. And that’s where these heroes come in:
The girl who had a little help from Shrek.
When a guy kept harassing this girl, asking her if she’d be into a “sex chat,” the 20-year-old said sure, but only if they could role play. They begin and the conversation quickly escalates when the girl asks if her friend could join. The guy unsurprisingly complies and gets virtually blindfolded. As for who the friend is? The girl sends two screenshots of Shrek with the message “WHAT R U DOIN IN MY SWAMP.” The guy doesn’t respond, prompting the pranker to ask, “Bitch … Damn [you’re] not going to even reply???”
The girl who got technical.
The girl who got his grandma involved.
After reconnecting with a childhood friend who would not leave this girl alone — and would show up unannounced at the diner she worked at — Reddit user childerolande enlisted help from her great grandma in an effort to rid herself of her stalker. “I went home, called my great grandma and got her to pull his grandmother’s phone number out of her address book,” she recounted. “We had a great talk and she put the beat down on him I guess, because I never saw him again after that.”
The girl who told a guy he reminds her of her brother.
“I tell them they remind me of my brother. Never fails,” recalled a Reddit user. “That is, unless they’re really into Game of Thrones.“
The girl who fought back … while politely asking for more cheese.
The girl who got real deep during a coffee run.
“Looked him dead in the eyes and said, ‘I am unable to feel pain and human emotion,’ when he commented on my choice of iced coffee in the middle of a snowstorm,” one Reddit user said.