As we’ve seen with Cazzie David’s “Been in Africa, what’d I miss??” Instagram caption following her ex Pete Davidson’s whirlwind engagement to Ariana Grande and Selena Gomez’s telling “Only the Strong Survive” tee worn a few days after ex Justin Bieber popped the question to Hailey Baldwin, celebrities aren’t immune to feeling some type of way after their former lovers moved on shortly after their own breakups.
It’s a, dare we say, borderline-rude phenomenon that contradicts the proper post-breakup mourning process our BFFs and all those coming-of-age movies have been feeding us for years. Nursing the wounds from an unexpected split just doesn’t feel right without spending a full day stuffing our faces with cookie dough ice cream and our ears with Adele’s most depressing tracks. But to each their own.
The following people — who’ve bared their souls, stories and life lessons on Reddit — can certainly relate to the shock that comes after an ex gets engaged in record time. Here, they recount their tales of heartbreak and share words of wisdom for those going through similar experiences. They’re the true heroes.
See Them for Who They Really Are
So, What Went Down? “My ex found another guy in less than two months after we had been together over a year, and engaged for several months.”
What Did You Learn? “I finally started analyzing her as a person and I realized that I really didn’t like her. She wasn’t the kind of person I would want to be friends with. She was fun to look at and touch, but she made me absolutely miserable.”
Focus on Yourself
So, What Went Down? “My ex spent the night with someone the week after she broke up with me. She had met him three months prior, and had essentially been biding her time until her first semester of law school ended to end things with me. They got engaged a few months later.”
What Did You Learn? “Do not concern yourself with how your ex is going about his/her life. Don’t hold out hope, don’t check in on her, don’t keep tabs. Let your memories be the only thing that remains of him/her in your life. No contact is truly the best route, even when you think your post-breakup interactions will be the exception to the rule.”
It Takes Time
So, What Went Down? “Me and my long-time friend finally got together. He dumped me because he wasn’t sure that he loved me. Less than a year later, he’s now engaged to a woman, who has three kids, who he’s only been dating a few months. I thought he was a commitment-phobe and that’s why we broke up but apparently not. It was just me he couldn’t love.”
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What Did You Learn? “What I can say is hang in there, time and distance from them works wonders and things absolutely do get better.”
So, What Went Down? “I had an ex I dated for three years tell me he was engaged. I hated this man because he emotionally abused me, and I had even talked to him a good seven to eight months after the break. Five months after the last message, he said he was engaged and thanked me for showing him how not to act in a relationship. I was forced to feel another slew of anger, disgust, and anxiety. He used my emotions and mind as a training ground, essentially.”
What Did You Learn? “When you spend so much time on someone and loved them so much, even when they were toxic and awful, you are forced to feel because that is a part of you. You’re not crazy or wrong. Just stay strong, ignore them, avoid contact and don’t cave to jealousy because they’re screwing their own life now. You deserve better and will get over them.”
All Reddit entries have been edited for length and clarity.