Selling Sunset's Amanza Smith Shares Tearful Photo as She Opens Up About Her Mental Health
On Friday, the Selling Sunset star shared a candid selfie, in which she has tears on her face, and wrote in the caption that she was inspired by another Instagram user to share her own struggles.
"This was me last night at 4am when I couldn't sleep because so much was on my mind," wrote Smith, 44, saying that her purpose in sharing the snapshot was to be "honest and not pretend I'm always at the top of my game with it all."
"It's ok not to be ok," she said elsewhere in the post. "Many people are afraid to be open about mental health. You all see me very strong and I appreciate so much the support I have gotten thru fans and friends for the way I carry myself thru this difficult new journey as a full time working single mom."
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The exes, who divorced in 2012, shared 50/50 custody of their two children — son Braker and daughter Noah — until his disappearance in August 2019.
"He was a great father when he was around. He was a very loyal, hands-on, dedicated, interactive father," Smith said on the Dear Media podcast Not Skinny But Not Fat in October, explaining why Brown's sudden absence has been particularly hard on the kids, who used to spend half of each week with him. "I know it sounds so crazy."
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"I know he's alive because we've had to get an attorney and file court records, because I'm trying to get full custody. And at one point he submitted something to the courts where he did a change of address. We traced it back, and it's a P.O. Box at, like, a UPS store," Smith added.
"So he's off the grid," she continued. "Whatever's going on, and I have no idea what it is, he doesn't want to be found right now. And for me, if he doesn't want to be found, it's probably best that he's away until he's better or until he wants to come back."
The Netflix star spoke to PEOPLE about the situation in February, explaining she was at a point where she feels ready to use her platform to aid in her fight to find Brown. While she's unsure what led to his disappearance, she has considered whether it could be a health issue related to his football injuries. She specifically cited CTE, a brain condition associated with repeated trauma to the head during an interview with Entertainment Tonight.
"I made the choice to put my life on a television show, and when I made that choice this wasn't our reality, but it is now," Smith told PEOPLE. "So I may as well use the platform to try to figure out how to get some answers."
If you or someone you know needs mental-health help, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.