Whitney Way Thore's friend Buddy Bell, who just returned from rehab for cocaine, talks about his experience on My Big Fat Fabulous Life

By Julie Mazziotta
February 20, 2018 02:01 PM

Whitney Way Thore’s friend Buddy Bell feels like he has a second chance at life after completing rehab for cocaine addiction.

While vacationing in Hawaii, the pair had a heart-to-heart on the beach about Bell’s recovery and how Thore found out about his addiction.

“I’m so proud of you, I was so scared when I found out,” Thore says in this exclusive clip from Tuesday’s episode of My Big Fat Fabulous Life. “I was terrified, and I just feel really bad that I didn’t know.”

Both Thore and Bell start to cry, and Bell says that he cries “every day now.”

Thore goes on to tell Bell that she’s been questioning why she didn’t step in sooner, even though she wasn’t aware of his addiction.

“I tried a couple times to talk to you, because I knew something was wrong,” she says. “If I had known what it was, I would have done something, and I’m just so proud of you, and I love you so much.”

“It’s nothing you did, I mean, it’s all me,” Bell says. “Plus once it got bad, I was hiding from you guys anyway. You could tell that our relationship was just funky.”

Having this conversation is a huge relief for Thore.

“I’m still carrying guilt for not realizing what was going on with him,” she says in a side interview. “So it takes a big weight off my shoulders to be able to look him in the eye and tell him I’m sorry for letting him down.”

In his own interview, Bell says that rehab was tough at first, but it changed his life.

“It feels like I’ve been pulled from an early grave, or like I was shipwrecked and just landed on the shore,” he says. “I’m an extremely lucky person. I’m looking forward to the future, but I am living today. I’m grateful to be alive today.”

My Big Fat Fabulous Life airs Tuesdays at 8/7c on TLC.