The star of My Big Fat Fabulous Life has been sharing videos and photos of her CrossFit-style workouts on Instagram, and Thore says that’s led to “accusatory” messages about her body.
“Recently I’ve gotten a lot of comments and DMs with an…accusatory nature, asking me questions like, ‘If you work out so much, why don’t you lose weight? What are you eating?’ and things like…’If you’re going to post workouts and not meals, that isn’t fair; we’re not getting the full picture,’ ” Thore, 33, wrote on Instagram on Sunday.
“For those of you who speculate about my eating habits, I’ll give you this,” Thore said, before listing her dietary problems.
“I used to struggle with disordered eating, both purging (but not traditional ‘bingeing.’ I used to purge regular meals), as well as restricting (eating as little as a few hundred calories a day for months at a time). The last time I engaged in either of these behaviors was in 2011 when I lost 100 pounds and — ironically — everyone thought I was so healthy,” she said.
Thore also has polycystic ovary syndrome, or PCOS, which affects her hormones.
“PCOS in and of itself did not make me this fat, but it did cause me to gain a significant amount of weight over several months when I was 18,” she said. “I’ve been insulin resistant for 14 years due to PCOS, and that has an effect on weight gain and weight loss — no matter what weight you are … Insulin-resistant PCOS coupled with shame, depression, disordered eating, alcohol and lots of weight losses and weight gains have led me to where I am today. Some of this was a choice; some of it was not.”
Additionally, Thore said, she has trouble eating regularly, and typically has one or two meals a day. Sometimes that meal is enough food to “eat past the point of fullness,” while other times she is not eating enough.
She also shared a photo from her senior prom 16 years earlier, and added that she weighed less then and she was hurting her body.
“Before any or everyone comments about how healthy I was or something, I’ll just point out that I was bulimic and depressed and abusing adderall and I threw up my dinner in a fancy restaurant bathroom about an hour after this was taken.”
Thore said the main thing is that she’s doing the best she can.
“Where I am today is a woman who, just like you, is trying to be balanced, who is trying to be healthy (also mentally and emotionally), and who is just…doing her best. That’s it.” she said.
Thore recently got back into her workout routine after recommitting to herself.
“I think when you really realize that if you don’t take the risks and if you don’t do what you desire, the only person who loses is you,” she told PEOPLE Now of getting over her fear of the gym. “I just want people who are struggling with shame to realize that we really do have one life and we are responsible for living our lives no matter what other people think. I hate to see people waste their time, because I feel like I wasted a lot of mine.”