Lifestyle Health Trista Sutter Reveals Husband Ryan Has Been 'Struggling for Months' with Mystery Illness: 'It's Messed Up' "But, that's where we are. In a holding pattern of not knowing," Trista Sutter wrote on her Instagram By People Staff Published on November 30, 2020 05:41 PM Share Tweet Pin Email Trista Sutter is opening up about a mysterious illness that has plagued her husband of almost 17 years, Ryan Sutter. The former Bachelorette, 48, revealed in an Instagram post on Sunday that Ryan, 46, has been "struggling for months" with his health. Reflecting on the recent Thanksgiving holiday, Trista wrote in the caption alongside a photo of the former NFL star, "This week is usually one of my favorites. Creating memories with family, honoring traditions, filling our bellies with the tastiest of treats, and recognizing our blessings. I wrote a book on gratitude after all. It’s for that reason, though, that I haven’t posted." "I know I should be thankful, but I don’t want to be fake. And, I’m struggling. This guy...my rock, my best friend, my hero, my love...is struggling. Not everyday, and not to the point that he can’t work or cook or exercise or be with family, but enough," she continued. "We’ve been struggling for months. Struggling to get answers." Ryan and Trista Sutter. Noam Galai/Getty Ryan Sutter Says He Still Can't Watch Wife Trista's Season of The Bachelorette — 17 Years Later According to Trista, the family recently "found out that Ryan doesn’t have cancer," though doctors have yet to diagnosis him. Ryan and Trista Sutter. Presley Ann/Getty "A HUGE relief...without a doubt, especially after fighting to find a doctor to take symptoms that lined up with lymphoma seriously and advocating for the scans to rule it out. But part of us was wanting a diagnosis. Wanting to be able to fight for him to be cured instead of fighting for an answer," she wrote. "How messed up is that? Don’t worry, I know. It’s messed up. But, that’s where we are. In a holding pattern of not knowing." Trista went on to say that she understands "it could be worse, so for that, I am thankful." Trista and Ryan Sutter's Daughter, 11, Wears the Bucket Hat He Wore on The Bachelor 17 Years Ago "Thankful to not have to be separated from a loved one who is dying due to COVID. Thankful to not have 2 children with a cancer diagnosis. Thankful to have each other and health insurance and jobs and a home and food on the table and healthy family members and all the things that make this life struggle-free," she said. "But if I’m not posting or answering emails or emotional or disconnected, please remember that everyone is struggling in some way, behind closed doors." "We are young-ish and blessed, but not immune. We lived a fairy tale on TV and have a great life for all intents and purposes, but answers would be nice. So, I’m going to keep praying for answers and am hopeful that if you are the praying type, that you’ll think of Ryan when the time comes to send up a message," she added, along with the hashtags: "#timetobereal #notyourtypicalThanksgiving #imdonewith2020." Will you accept this rose? Sign up for PEOPLE's free weekly Bachelor Nation newsletter to get the latest news on The Bachelor, The Bachelorette and everything in between! Trista and Ryan married in 2003 after meeting and falling in love on the first season of The Bachelorette. They share two children: daughter Blakesley Grace, 11, and son Maxwell Alston, 13. Over the weekend, Ryan shared a photo of himself and Trista to show love for his wife amid this difficult time "All we need is love... #thankyou 😘❤️," he wrote on Instagram, captioning a photo of the couple sharing a sweet embrace while sitting on a cliff. Trista responded in the comments section, "All I need is you..."