Selma Blair isn’t going to pretend having multiple sclerosis is easy — but she’s taking it day by day.
In an emotional Instagram caption she shared late Sunday night alongside a photo of her cuddling with a stuffed bear, the actress began by describing having a “[neurodegenerative] brain disease” as “uncomfortable” and “a stadium of uncontrollable anxiety at times.”
“Going out, being sociable holds a heavy price,” wrote Blair, 46. “My brain is on fire. I am freezing. We feel alone with it even though the loving support has been a godsend and appreciated.”
“People write me asking how I do it. I do my best,” she continued in the honest post. “But I choke with the pain of what I have lost and what I dare hope for and how challenging it is to walk around.”
“My smiles are genuine. This is ok. Life is an adventure with many shards of awakening,” Blair added. “I can’t sleep at night but daytime I have trouble staying awake.”
The Cruel Intentions star and mother to son Arthur Saint, 7, went on to highlight the positives surrounding her and explain how she was handling her health while balancing her day-to-day routine.
“I am a grown woman holding onto a bear that belonged to a sister type of mine. ( thank you @k.d.w.r ),” Blair wrote. “We do what we can. I have a full week ahead with mothering and appointments and things to look forward to. But like many of us, I am praying. Soaking in love where I can. It’s not easy. That’s ok. I send love to you.”
She added multiple hashtags including “#humancondition,” “#strengthinvulnerablity,” “#MS” and “#stillanactress.”
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Blair first revealed that she has MS on Oct. 20, two months after learning the news from her doctor.
“I have #multiplesclerosis. I am in an exacerbation,” she wrote on Instagram, in part. “By the grace of the lord, and will power and the understanding producers at Netflix, I have a job. A wonderful job. I am disabled. I fall sometimes. I drop things. My memory is foggy. And my left side is asking for directions from a broken gps. But we are doing it. And I laugh and I don’t know exactly what I will do precisely but I will do my best.”
“Since my diagnosis at ten thirty pm on The night of August 16, I have had love and support from my friends, especially @Jaime king @sarahmgellar @realfreddieprinze @tarasubkoff @noah.d.newman,” Blair said. “My producers #noreenhalpern who assured me that everyone has something. #chrisregina #aaronmartin and every crew member … thank you.”