The actress opened up about "feeling alone and vulnerable and scared" as she continues treatments for her multiple sclerosis

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Almost one year ago, Selma Blair triumphantly made her entrance at an Oscars afterparty in a stunning gown and her cane, just a few months after publicly revealing that she has multiple sclerosis. This time around, her Oscars week is looking a bit different, and the actress opened up about “feeling alone and vulnerable and scared” as she works to recover.

Blair, 47, shared a photo of herself curled up at home and talked about dealing with her MS symptoms and other bouts of sickness and pain in the last week.

“This is the thing. I feel sick,” she wrote on Instagram. “This is what happens. There is no bright light of glamour. Of course. It is long nights. Almost all nights. My muscles in my face and neck are in spasm. Or so tight I can’t even find a way to stretch. And I have been trying for three hours. On the ground stretching. I have had the stomach flu. Thanks Arthur [her 7-year-old son]! And I am even more sideways now. For now. But I am not killed by it.”

Selma Blair
Credit: Dia Dipasupil/Getty; Selma Blair/ Instagram

Blair said she’s “strong enough” to make it through her sicknesses, including a “simple ankle sprain” she had last week.

“I recover,” she said. “I stepped wrong last week. In the street. I don’t remember it happening. Or the pain. I was told. And my ankle is sprained and it makes me feel even more fragile. A simple ankle sprain.”

While she knows she can get better, Blair admitted that she’s “hurting.”

“I am lucky on a million counts. I know. And I am still feeling alone and vulnerable and scared about the future as a single mom,” she said. “I’m not dying any more than anyone. I am just hurting. It feels like I am just breaking down. So there’s a truth to give to anyone else feeling this way. It’s just miserable. And scary. To feel unwell.”

RELATED VIDEO: Selma Blair Opens Up About Her Son Arthur and Motherhood With Multiple Sclerosis

Blair said that this is just what she was thinking about early one morning, and thanked her followers for sticking by her.

“I am so sorry. This is just me to you. In the early hours of the morning. Cause I don’t know what else to do and I want so much to do better,” she said. “May the silver lining surround us all. And guide us out of the darkest. Thank you all for being the biggest loves.”

“I am in a slow time,” she explained. “I need to recover. I want to recover. And I don’t know what that even really means. ?. I send you all a reassuring warmth. We all need it.”

2019 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Radhika Jones - Arrivals
Selma Blair at the 2019 Vanity Fair Oscars Party
| Credit: Jon Kopaloff/WireImage

Blair revealed her diagnosis in Oct. 2018, and made her first public appearance since then at the Vanity Fair Oscars Party the next February. Over the last year, Blair has tried several different treatments to get through a tough MS flare, but few have worked. One of the more successful attempts was a stem cell transplant and an “aggressive” course of chemotherapy to restart her immune system.

She said in Oct. 2019 that she was given a “microdose” of chemotherapy just before her stem cell transplant, and “immediately felt some relief.” She still needed to wait and see if it would work, “but overall, it went pretty smoothly.”

“I haven’t talked about it much yet because I wanted to show everyone that the proof is in the pudding, but my pudding is still kind of scrambled. I don’t want to scare people away,” she said then.