Ryan Sutter Says He's 'Doing Ok' amid Lyme Disease Diagnosis: 'Finding Value in My Own Suffering'
The Bachelorette winner said he's been struggling recently, though, as he watches "friends, family and colleagues" who are dealing with "moments of adversity"
Ryan Sutter is "doing ok" as he manages his Lyme disease, but he's having trouble figuring out how to support the people around him who are dealing with their own struggles.
The Bachelorette winner, 46, said he's felt uncomfortable with the fact that he's currently doing well.
"It's been kind of a tough few weeks. Not for me personally. In fact, I'm doing ok and it's kind of bugging me?" Sutter wrote on Instagram.
"All around me friends, family and colleagues have come into moments of adversity and are struggling," he continued. "It's been easy for me lately to justify personal pain and to somehow work towards finding value in my own suffering but I can't manage the same peace with the anguish and sorrow of others? I feel powerless against it? I want to be there but don't know where there is?"
Sutter said that to manage these feelings, he's sticking to the activities that make him feel good, like getting outdoors.
"I focus on being grateful — for everything. And I go somewhere that makes me feel small and I breath[sic] and I come to the realization that from moment to moment life is simple and that if I can just stay in the moment, I can exist in a simple state of readiness — for myself and for others," he said.
Sutter and his wife Trista spent the last year searching for answers after he suddenly started dealing with extreme fatigue and pain. In May, after a litany of tests and doctors appointments, he was diagnosed with Lyme disease, which they said was exacerbated by mold toxins, along with Epstein-Barr virus (EBV) and long-haul COVID-19.
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"It's been hard, to see him struggle, because he is such a strong human in general," Trista said. "But he doesn't share that with everyone. So it's just hard to see the person you love most in the world feeling like crap."
"It's been hard," she continued. "And not because I want any attention on me, [but] because I want him to be better, I want him to wake up feeling great, I want him to be able to spend time with our family and make memories, and when you don't feel good, it just takes away from life. I'm not doing great."