Luis D. Ortiz is sharing his difficult truth in the hopes that it will inspire others not to keep their own mental health struggles to themselves.
In a lengthy message shared via his Instagram page on Saturday, the former Million Dollar Listing: New York star opened up about his ongoing struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts.
“I have been wanting to share this for some time now but have been very reluctant to do so for the very same reasons most of us choose to keep our truths in the dark,” wrote Ortiz, who announced he was leaving the Bravo series in 2016’s season finale. “However, ever since Kate [Spade] and [Anthony] Bourdain committed suicide I have been feeling the strong need and responsibility of sharing my truth with the hopes of a positive change.”
“For the past year I have been struggling with depression and during the last three months all I can think of — day and night — is putting an end to it all,” he continued, adding that it’s “almost impossible” to “understand how selfish this would be for the people that love me.”
Continuing, he wrote: “In fact, I argue that it is selfish of them to let me live in a place I have convinced myself I no longer want to be a part of. It’s a very stupid, ignorant and blind argument but once you have broken yourself down to the extent of no longer believing in any of your abilities and the value you bring to yourself, the people closest to you and the world you live in it’s extremely difficult to see it that way.”
The reality star went on to praise “the genuine love and care” of his friends and family “who have constantly fought and continue to fight hard” to help him “come back to the old full-of-light self I truly loved, respected and admired.”
“I am still there with the desire of slowly eradicating this bs— (definitely temporary) mindset of mine and start creating something extraordinary as a result,” Ortiz, 31, added.
Continuing, Ortiz wrote that in order for more people to be able to fight their struggles with depression, people need to share what they’re going through — even if it’s hard.
“This s— is real and it’s happening to so many people. Regardless of who they are and what they have or haven’t accomplished. We constantly feel the need of showing that everything is ok when it really isn’t and that needs to stop,” he remarked. “Our internal battle makes us stronger, yes. But we need to win them first. And sometimes, most times, we can’t win them on our own.”
Continuing, he wrote, “With that said, don’t be afraid of your truth. Be proud of it. Share it if you believe will help you understand it better. It’s the only way you will genuinely evolve. And for those of you with friends or close ones who you see are not being themselves, do not abandon them. Remind them of who they are. Remind them that you’re there for them. Remind them that you love them. They don’t need to be at their lowest to be positively affected by it.”
“Let’s make it cool and sexy to create forward while sharing our truth along the way. Let’s learn to love everyone’s unique truth and perhaps that will elevate our levels of compassion and empathy which will better us as people and our world. We are all amazing. Don’t forget that,” the reality star added. “With love, Luis.”
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “help” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.