Kaitlyn Bristowe Says She's 'Scared,' 'Depressed' and 'Really Anxious' as She Battles COVID-19

"I'm doing all these what-ifs and I'm spiraling," Kaitlyn Bristowe said Monday on her Instagram Story

Kaitlyn Bristowe
Kaitlyn Bristowe. Photo: Kaitlyn Bristowe/Instagram

Kaitlyn Bristowe is getting candid about her health — both physical and mental.

Four days after revealing that she and boyfriend Jason Tartick had tested positive for the coronavirus, the former Bachelorette shared a series of videos to her Instagram Story detailing her mental health as her symptoms (including loss of taste and smell) continue to play out.

"I've been trying really hard to do the whole perspective thing, but a few of my friends have been like, 'Kaitlyn, it's okay to be scared and to be upset and to be frustrated at this.' And so today, I'm just allowing myself to be bummed out," said Bristowe, 35, in one video on Monday.

The reigning Dancing with the Stars champion went on to share that she was feeling "a little bit depressed," as well as "super anxious and scared" about how the virus will affect her long-term.

"I'm worried if, like, what if my smell and taste never comes back? Then I get scared [of] what if tomorrow I wake up and I can't breathe? What if the next day I'm not okay?" Bristowe continued. "I'm doing all these what-ifs and I'm spiraling, and I feel really, really anxious today. I hate when things are unpredictable, and COVID is definitely unpredictable."

A more lighthearted follow-up clip showed the former reality star using a device that she bought from CVS, which steams Vicks VapoRub into her nose. "This is not an ad — you do not get a discount code, but you do get a little bit of hope," Bristowe joked to her viewers.

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Kaitlyn Bristowe
Kaitlyn Bristowe's Instagram Story. Kaitlyn Bristowe/Instagram
Kaitlyn Bristowe
Kaitlyn Bristowe. Kaitlyn Bristowe/Instagram

On Thursday, Bristowe shared the news of her diagnosis on Instagram by posting a photo of herself and Tartick, 32, sitting in front of their Christmas tree. She wrote, "Unfortunately, this is our Christmas card this year."

"We have Covid," she wrote in the post. "Jason and I had been trying to quarantine before seeing family. We thought we were making a responsible decision to have ONE person over, who had been tested daily for work. Negative tests 4 days in a row. The day we saw her, she became positive which we all found out the next day. Now, like many, we will spend Christmas by ourselves."

"We just want to let everyone know that we thought we were being safe, but covid is bigger than us," she continued. "Today, We are thinking of everyone who is spending the holidays alone, anyone who is sick or overcoming something, (as 2020 has taught us to overcome a lot), and all of the healthcare workers who have been away from family, taking care of others for months, and months now. We will be ok!! Be safe and happy holidays!!"

Tartick also shared the news with his Instagram followers, saying he and Bristowe had a "responsible quarantine plan in place" so that they'd be able to spend Christmas with his family.

"Shame on us, we didn’t stick to the plan," Tartick wrote alongside a video of himself and Bristowe. "We made an adult decision to allow a friend over during the quarantine time bc for a project she was working on she was required to be tested and showed 3 negative tests in a row for her work. On her way home Sunday, her Saturday morning test came in positive."

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"You just can never be too cautious and careful," he added. "There’s no out thinking this god awful virus, lesson learned. Thoughts and prayers are with all of those who have been impacted by Covid, to those who have endured a challenging 2020, to the healthcare workers putting their lives on the line everyday for others and to those who are family less during the holiday. ❤️."

Bristowe gave an update about her symptoms on Sunday, revealing that she had "officially lost [her] taste and smell. "I don't know why I think I know how COVID works, because I don't. But, when I first got it, I was like, 'Okay, no real symptoms,' " said the star.

"And then a few days went by and I was, 'Oh, okay, I just feel like I have a cold.' And then another day goes by and I've lost my smell and my taste," she added. "It's just so unpredictable, and I think that's the scariest part about COVID — all of the unknown and the unpredictableness [sic] of it."

In her videos, Bristowe went on to explain that she'd been so excited to have her "peppermint tea" and "peanut butter chocolate squares" for breakfast every morning while recovering. "And now I can't even taste that," she said.

She also said she'd been feeling "very tired," but that she's "still okay." Shared the Off The Vine host, "I don't have any shortness of breath, it's more just I lost all my taste and smell and feeling like I have a really bad cold."

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