Jamie-Lynn Sigler was first diagnosed with MS when she was 20, but didn't publicly reveal her illness until January 2016

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March 15, 2019 11:11 AM

Jamie-Lynn Sigler is still learning to make peace with the way Multiple sclerosis has impacted her life.

In next week’s episode of Shondaland’s podcast Katie’s Crib, hosted by Scandal alum Katie Lowes, the 37-year-old actress opened up about how she still struggles with “being okay” with her body.

“Even now when I work, which is very rare, I still deal with this — wanting to look normal, wanting to cover [my MS] up, because that’s what I did for so many years,” she says.

The actress was first diagnosed with MS when she 20, but didn’t publicly reveal her illness until January 2016.

“I think I’m still coming to terms with owning it, and being okay with knowing this is just my body and how I move,” she added.

Katie Lowes and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Katie's Crib Podcast

RELATED: Jamie-Lynn Sigler Is Done Being ‘That Sick Girl’ with MS: I Find Strength Within

Sigler also shared she sometimes worries the disease, which damages the central nervous system, will negatively impact her relationship with her two young children: sons Jack Adam, 13 months, and Beau Kyle, 5½.

“Sometimes I feel guilty or I feel bad because I don’t want to put my s— on him,” she told Lowes, speaking of her eldest child with husband Cutter Dykstra.

“But at the same time I think that maybe I’m giving him some lessons in compassion and understanding, and the fact that he’s never pointed a single thing that makes me different — the only thing he’s ever pointed out is just why he loves me … I’m grateful for him,” she added.

The actress went on to share that as her son got older, she began to feel guilty about how much she wouldn’t be able to experience with him.

“I just started to have these worries that my disability would slow him down too. You start to get these emotions … I don’t want this to take away anything from his life,” she says. “So I hired a nanny to take him on trips to the beach or things that I couldn’t do or … hiking and things like that, that I wanted him to experience and I wanted him to have fun doing.”

“Of course it killed me that I wasn’t the one doing it, but he comes first,” she added.

Larry Marano/Shutterstock

Though there is no cure for her disease, Sigler opened up last year about how she’s found solutions for herself with meditation and self-reflection.

I am done being that ‘sick girl’ that I’ve been for so long. I do know who I am without being sick because I wasn’t sick my whole life and when I meditate I know who I am,” she said on the DENtalks Podcast.

“With my MS, the one thing that it’s given me, which I’m trying to focus more on what it’s given me as opposed to what it’s taken away, is it’s led me on this spiritual path that I really don’t think I would have gone down,” she said. “It was really just an opportunity for me to look within. Because when you feel like your body’s kind of betraying you and you’re losing control despite your best efforts, like the only way to find any sort of strength is just like within and I still work on it.”

Related Video: Selma Blair Walks First Red Carpet Since MS Diagnosis

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