The actress says she's finally found "balance" with the "rollercoaster of my body"
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Fitting into Hollywood body standards doesn’t come easy to Drew Barrymore, and at age 45, she’s accepted that.

The actress and mom of two is speaking openly about her body struggles on Instagram for what she’s calling her “#WellnessWeek,” and on Wednesday, she talked about the “rollercoaster of my body.”

Barrymore said that her body has changed significantly over the years, especially during her two pregnancies.

“I go up and I go down. The rollercoaster of my body is a challenging, but beautiful ride. I made two kids. The single most important purpose for me being on this planet is for them! It is a true miracle I was able to have these two girls. So whatever the aftermath on my body, well bring it on!” she wrote.

Barrymore added, though, that she fought her natural shape for most of her life.

“There have been times I have stood in my closet and just cried. Hated getting dressed. Didn’t feel good!” she said. “It takes so much for me to look decent. I have to eat just right and work my ass off! I cannot fight the fact that I have the propensity to be the Pillsbury dough boy! (Now all I can think about is crescent rolls).”

The Santa Clarita Diet star said that she really had to work to get back to her pre-baby body after her pregnancies, and pointed out that all celebrities get a ton of help to do it.

“DON’T Be fooled by what you see when people are thin right after baby,” she said. “Don’t compare yourself to the magazines and the red carpets. If I looked decent on anything I have done since I had my two kids, I have clawed my way there. You can too! However, it is hard to sustain and can take a lot of the joy out of life with food.”

Barrymore said she doesn’t focus on looking a certain way anymore, and instead works on feeling mentally healthy with her trainer, Marnie Alton.

“NOW I have found that elusive B called BALANCE. 45! It only took 45 years to find myself. Right where I am supposed to be. And it’s not perfect. But it’s me,” she said.

RELATED VIDEO: Drew Barrymore Turned to Stomach Sculpting After Her Pregnancies Caused Ab Separation

Barrymore told PEOPLE in June that she plans to share her body positive mindset with her daughters Olive, 7, and Frankie, 5, when they get older.

“I’ll be able to talk to my kids in a very real way about having to work with ourselves the way that we are,” she said. “We’ve got to embrace it. We were all made a certain way.”