January 06, 2016 02:36 PM

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Truth: We have never been happier to not be Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady.

Why, you ask? Well, in case you’re just beginning to break out of holiday hibernation mode, the Internet nearly exploded yesterday after learning of the genetically blessed couple’s ridiculously strict diet.

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The supermodel and NFL player’s personal chef Allen Campbell revealed the pair’s super-healthy eating regimen, which he deemed to be eighty percent vegetables and whole grains, in an interview with Boston.com. The remaining 20 percent, he says, is comprised of organic lean meats. They also stay away from white sugar, flour, MSG, fungus, dairy, and certain vegetables like tomatoes and eggplant due to their lack of anti-inflammatory properties.

While this sounds like near torture to us — a life without burgers, cupcakes and endless apple pie doesn’t seem as fun/fulfilling, TBH — Brady and Bündchen have succeeded in making us feel #blessed to not be a celebrity for once.

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Keep scrolling to see a list of foods the duo probably, most likely, definitely can’t eat — but you definitely should. No judgments! We’re just happy there’s plenty to go around.

1. Mindy Kaling’s ‘Spicy and Cheesy’ Umami Burger

2. Five-Ingredient Balsamic Chicken with Roasted Tomatoes

3. A Real Housewife‘s Very Own Almond Joyous Cheesecake

4. Mini Salted Caramel Apple Pies

5. Chocolate Chunk Oatmeal Cookies (A favorite of Taylor Swift‘s!)

6. Mac ‘n’ Cheese Muffins

7. Pizza Dip

8. Baked Brown Sugar Chicken Wings

9. Ramen Bacon Grilled Cheese Sandwich

10. Funfetti Pancakes

11. Sausage, Artichoke and Goat Cheese Egg Bake

12. Mississippi Mud Pie

—Grace Gavilanes

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