By Marquaysa Battle
Updated December 08, 2020 10:35 AM
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Rachael Ray Visits Fox & Friends
Credit: D Dipasupil/Getty

A chef wants what a chef wants, right?

Rachael Ray may have mastered quick, 30-minute meals, but her grocery list is longer than some actual cookbooks. Okay, that’s an exaggeration but the handwritten note, shared on B.J. Novak‘s List App, is long and quite intricate. It’s filled with the everyday shopper’s produce like berries and veggies—and then there’s the not so typical, like three different kinds of spaghetti (setaro, lemon and pepperoncini) and Giardiniera (an Italian-American relish).

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The Food Network star is aware that her grocery lists are over-the-top but assures followers the organized chaos is worth it. “I know they look a lot like Kevin Spacey notebook entries from the film Seven,” she writes. “But the end result is a whole lot of good food served to deserving people rather than a ranting wild plan for their ‘righteous’ demise in a sick plot to cut off Gwyneth Paltrow’s head causing Brad Pitt to scream ‘What’s in the box?'”

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Ray packs her list with a plethora of spices, toppings and sauces. She also includes details about what meals to cook and how she wants her jumbo shrimp to smell “very clean.”

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On the app—which Anthony Bourdain previously used to share a collection of things he finds “genuinely terrifying”—Ray also shares the two things she still can’t make. Toast is the first: “I set it on fire,” she writes. And then there’s coffee: “It looks like mud or pee.”

And that’s just fine because from the looks of this list, she already has enough on her plate.