As we’ve exhaustively covered, pumpkin spice is no longer trapped within the walls of a Starbucks cup, and can now be found in virtually ever conceivable foodstuff that can be bonded to the flavor profile on a molecular level.
Now, you might be in a pickle. (Ha, food puns! We like to have fun here.) You might be thinking to yourself, “I’m at a loss as to how to feel about this whole pumpkin spice situation. Where is the average Joe or Josephine to turn in his or her quest to really grasp the subtleties of the pumpkin spice debate?”
Well, we’re going to tell you. As with everything, you’re going to turn to celebrities. And they’re going to weigh in, and you’re going to recalibrate your life based on their input. So here we go.
Taylor Swift: Ever the vanguard, Swift was pro-pumpkin spice as early as 2010…
… and mentioned it again in 2013.
Pete Wentz: Solidly in favor of.
Rachel Dratch: Pro, assuming they’re alcoholic. Describing a late-night talk show she would host, she said, “I would do a late-night Lifetime Movie Network ladies chat show, yes. It would be really stereotypical: just chicks drinking rosé, sitting in comfortable chairs. Alcoholic Pumpkin Spice Lattes for fall, easy recipes! This is a horrible show!”
Katy Perry: Also pro.
Kristin Cavallari: Pro.
Brittany Snow: Pro, though she was surprised by it in 2013.
Rebecca Black: Unclear. Senses are so finely attuned to the smell she can detect it in the air, but has not elucidated a position.
Jimmy Kimmel: Anti, we guess? Denounced it last year, made the video recapping his stance private. Was possibly silenced by powerful pro-pumpkin spice lobby.
Gordon Ramsay: Surprisingly pro, but not as early as September.
Phil Lester: Pro. Wants to bathe in pumpkin spice.
Connor Franta: Same.
Anthony Bourdain: Firmly anti. “I think pumpkin spice is disgusting. I certainly don’t want it in my coffee…I can’t think of the last time I woke up in the middle of the night and thought, ‘You know what? I could really go for some pumpkin.’
Hilary Clinton: Newly anti, but anti nonetheless. Her reasoning is sound, though: “I used to be until I saw how many calories were in them.”
Jon Oliver: As anti as they get. “Pumpkin spice lattes taste like a candle tastes.”
Miranda Sings: Anti, with her trademark anti-humor aesthetic.
Modern Family’s Ariel Winter: Pro, at least for her dog.
George Takei: Hard to say, but like a sarcastic pro?
Jeopardy star Ken Jennings: Pro.
YouTube/Vine/Insta/Whatever/ star Devin Hayes: Emphatically pro. Two heart-eye emojis!
And lastly, E. Gordon Gee, the president of West Virginia State University: Pro.
—Alex Heigl, @alex_heigl