A Guide to Martha Stewart's Most 'Entertaining' Instagram Photos, in Honor of Her Birthday

The lifestyle guru turns 79 on Aug. 3, and fans can't get enough of her blend of candid and curated Instagram content 

"That's definitely a thirst trap," Martha Stewart admitted to Entertainment Tonight after her sultry Instagram pool selfie made a splash on social media in July.

Martha on a bike is the epitome of all that is good in this world. Even better? Her to-die-for hat is actually a helmet!

Cheers to the queen of cocktails and crystal goblets! Pictured here with a "Martharita" and the only size glass worth investing in post-quarantine.

We love a glam moment for Martha, but there's nothing better than seeing the lifestyle guru in a pair of classic overalls with a blooming hibiscus in her front pocket.

Just a reminder that this icon is turning 79. WE REPEAT: SEVENTY. NINE.

Martha's Instagram truly has it all, from aspirational food content to hilarious videos of her many pets set to music.

Still waiting on Instagram to develop that scratch-and-sniff technology — mostly for the purpose of viewing Martha's food-filled page.

In honor of Earth Day, the longtime globe-trotter reflected on some of her favorite trips around the world, including to "Mount Kilimanjaro, Poland, Nepal, Africa, Dubai, Antarctica, Philippines, Costa Rica, and ice-biking in Beijing."

"I cannot wait until the world is safer for all of us - when we can go back to enjoying traveling, doing business, and spending time with our families," she wrote, referencing the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic.

Martha debating whether to drink wine or Ryan Reynolds' Aviation Gin while snacking on caviar is the only kind of ASMR we need.

"Tonight: wine, gin? Wine, gin, gin, gin, gin, gin? Ryan Reynolds' gin — Blake Lively's husband Ryan Reynolds' gin — (*whispers*) caviar, crème fraîche, gin, and wine!"

As much as we love a photo of Martha's face, it would be a disservice to the essence of her Instagram not to include some pet content. Here, she's overlaid a video of her narrating the exercise routine of her French bulldogs, Bete Noire and Creme Brûlée, with Kris Kross' "Jump." This is pretty much all you need to watch after a hard day.

And we'd be remiss if we didn't give Martha's beloved Chow Chow Emperor Han a proper cameo, too.

"Emperor Han loves to go for a ride with music blaring He especially prefers girl vocalists- @badgalriri and @taylorswift," Martha wrote on Instagram.

Martha laid out all the rules for surviving and thriving while staying home amid the coronavirus pandemic, featuring her trademark stream-of-consciousness caption style:

"I warn all of you to not attempt frivolous 'fixes' during this time Wash your hair,condition it ,air dry it . Remove chipped polish and lightly file your nails, with all the hand washing apply lots of rich hand lotion and reparative ointments Cleanse your skin well and moisturize morning snd [sic] night Tinted sunscreen is good all day and lipgloss of course Apply masks two or three times a week! If you can find Cbd masks and serums use those."

*Takes deep breath*

"Watch your diet -baking is fun but too many cookies , Too many cakes -Careful!! Hone your cooking skills Make new salads , try new vegetables ,try new ethnic dishes . Get outside as much as you can but wear your mask , your gloves , and keep your distance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' We will survive this newest life challenge I know it is painful and hurtful and difficult But it is not war It is a virus We know what we have to do. Do it!"

We love a chainsaw-wielding meme queen!

Don't try this at home! Martha painted a picture of a fun night out in her caption, writing, "Table games -Dinner served -Conversation lively -Martha gets adventuresome One of my favorite balancing acts stacking wine glasses !"

Martha is a woman of many talents — and off-handedly complimenting herself is one of our favorites. "Horseback riding weekly is very good for ones legs," she captioned this shot of her in full glam at Vanity Fair's Oscar Party in February.