Girl Scout Gives Hilariously Ruthless Review of Each Type of Cookie
If you’re in the market for Girl Scout cookies (who isn’t?), then you’re in luck — reviews for each cookie are coming straight from a Girl Scout herself.
In a hilarious video narrated by Mike Rowe, the former Dirty Jobs host says he received a letter from his best friend’s daughter, Charlotte, who was informed her father’s wealthy friend wanted to buy cookies.
To reach her goal of selling 300 boxes, she decided to review each cookie, giving her most sincere opinion in hopes Rowe would appreciate her honesty and make a purchase. “Most importantly I would like to tell you about the cookies themselves, for some of the descriptions, I’m afraid, use false advertising,” she writes. “Note, I am rating all of the boxes on a scale of 1 to 10 — 10 being the best, 1 being the worst.”
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She goes on to review each type of cookie:
“Savannah Smiles are like sweet lemon wedges with just the right balance of sweet and sour. This cookie gets a 7 for its divine taste.”
“This is a plain peanut butter cookie that pairs nicely with any hot drink. I give it a 6 because alone, it’s kinda boring.”
“The Do-si-do is a peanut butter sandwich. I give it a 5 for its unoriginality and its blandness.”
“Wow, the Samoa. I give it a 9. The Samoa has amazing flavor.”
“If you don’t like peanut butter, do not buy this cookie. However, I give it an 8 for the chocolate peanut butter combination. Inspired.”
“I give it a 9 for the delectable chocolate mint combination. Also, inspired.”
“If you have a wild sense of adventure, try the s’more. Full disclosure, I have not tried the s’more so I cannot rate it in good conscious.”
“Last and yes, I’m sorry to say least, is the Toffee-tastic. The Toffee-tastic is a bleak, flavorless, gluten-free, wasteland. I’m telling you its as flavorless as dirt.”
Charlotte concludes her letter like any good salesperson would — with a disclosure: “These ratings are only my opinion, yours may vary.”