Lifestyle Food Anthony Bourdain's Ex-Wife Ottavia Speaks Out in New Doc: 'I Should Have Kept an Eye on Him' MMA fighter Ottavia Busia-Bourdain appears in the new documentary Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain By Ana Calderone Ana Calderone Instagram Ana Calderone is the Digital Food Editor for PEOPLE. In her nine years at the brand, she's appeared as a judge on Beat Bobby Flay, traveled on the road with the late Anthony Bourdain, and hosted cooking segments for the Food Network Kitchen app. When she's not leading PEOPLE's coverage of celebrity chefs and food news, she's often baking up cake content on TikTok @ana_calderone. People Editorial Guidelines Published on July 16, 2021 11:06 AM Share Tweet Pin Email Anthony Bourdain with Ottavia Busia-Bourdain. Photo: Discovery Access / Focus Features Not just another tribute to Anthony Bourdain, Roadrunner is a beautiful film that sheds light on the chef and TV personality's final, erratic year. The new documentary directed by Morgan Neville — centered on the food world's favorite bad boy, who died by suicide in 2018 — is in theaters Friday. It's the first time since Bourdain's death that we hear from his estranged wife, Ottavia Busia-Bourdain, one of many people in the late chef's inner circle who sat for an interview. Busia, a jiu-jitsu pro, discusses their romantic love story after first being introduced by chef Eric Ripert, and their subsequent separation in 2016. (The two never formally divorced but dated other people and continued to co-parent their daughter, Ariane, now 14.) Isaac Brekken/WireImage. The Restaurant Where Anthony Bourdain Began His Culinary Career Will Reopen for a Weekend "I thought he was going to be this bad boy — a little bit arrogant and not what I was expecting but endearing nonetheless," she says of their early dating life. The Parts Unknown host had long said he wasn't sure he'd be a great dad, but when he finally settled down, Busia revealed he was over the moon. "Any doubts I may have had, dissipated when I realized how happy he was that he was going to be a father," she says in the film. But traveling for 250 days out of the year can no doubt take a toll on a relationship, a family. So after nine years of marriage, the pair announced their separation. "It always seemed like what he wanted was this idyllic picture of family and ordinary life but then when he got it, I don't know if he was ... I don't know. After a while maybe that wasn't enough anymore," she says. Bourdain entered a whirlwind romance with Italian actress Asia Argento in 2017, and the highs and lows of their relationship are thoroughly documented in Roadrunner. In one particularly heart-wrenching scene, Busia talks about her dynamic with Bourdain post-separation. "He was not the same person. Something changed and became really heavy but he started going to therapy at a certain point and I thought, 'I can take a step back, I don't have to be like you know always so worried about him,' " she says. "I feel like that is something that I will always ... I should have kept an eye on him more," she adds through tears. Anthony Bourdain's Director Pens Book About Their Travels After Being 'Lost in Grief' for 2 Years Anthony Bourdain, Ottavia Busia-Bourdain and daughter Ariane. Anthony Bourdain/Instagram Instead of focusing on his ultimate death, Busia chooses to be grateful for the child they raised together: "I am so lucky because she is the best daughter I could hope for." "I think this is the last time I'll ever talk publically about it because that's not the way I want to remember him," she adds. "I want to remember when we were together, all the amazing things that we'd done and the amazing person that he was." Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain is in theaters now. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text "help" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.