May 17, 2018 04:00 PM

A Texas mother is devastated over the shooting deaths of her three young children and her boyfriend, all of whom were killed by her ex-husband in a quadruple-murder-suicide Wednesday in which the woman was shot in the shoulder.

In an emotional video streamed to Facebook Live from her hospital bed, a tearful Amanda Simpson says, “I’ve relived it over and over and every time I close my eyes, I see my babies. I see them dead.”

Though doctors and nurses are telling her to sleep, she says that’s impossible. “Every time I close my eyes, you don’t want to know what I see.”

At 8:28 a.m. on Wednesday, police were called to Simpson’s home in Ponder, a tiny town about 35 miles north of Fort Worth, for a report about a burglary in progress, Denton County Sheriff’s Office spokesman Captain Orlando Hinojosa tells PEOPLE.

“Members of the Ponder Police Department arrived on the scene first and they discovered the bodies of the deceased inside the house,” he says.

Drake Painter, 4, Caydence Painter, 6, and Odin Painter, 8
Amanda Simpson/Facebook

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Simpson, who initially didn’t realize she had been shot, was transported to a local hospital, Hinojosa says.

During the ensuing investigation, police learned Justin Painter, 39, fatally shot his and Simpson’s children Odin Painter, 8, Caydence Painter, 6, and Drake Painter, 4, and Seth Richardson, 29, Simpson’s new boyfriend, says Hinojosa.

In her Facebook post, Simpson says she and her ex had spoken this morning and she had rebuffed his attempts to get back together with her.

Amanda Simpson

A Mother’s Agony

Propped up against a pillow in her hospital bed and looking weary, Simpson explains why she streamed the nearly 10-minute video, saying, “Hey guys…I didn’t know what else to do…this is to reach out to everybody.”

The bullet, she explains, hit her in the shoulder and is lodged under her shoulder blade. It broke two of her ribs and a bone in her neck, she says.

Sobbing, she continues, “I have to start funeral arrangements. I don’t know where to begin on that.”

She reveals that Justin tried to commit suicide a year ago, but says the court system “didn’t listen” to her warnings that he was unstable.

“So now, I don’t have my babies,” she says, adding, “You guys know they were my everything, my purpose to breathe.”

Amanda Simpson and her three children

She says she would like to have her children’s bodies “cremated and kept by my side.”

Then, with her voice shaking, she says, “You never think you will lose a child. I always watch the news, and I stopped watching it because so many children get killed.”

She adds, “I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to act. I’m at a loss.”

Asking for prayers or “good vibes,” Simpson says, “I just ask if you can…pray that my kids knew that I loved them.”

Authorities are continuing to investigate, says Hinojosa.

Simpson’s loved ones set up a fundraiser for her to help pay funeral and medical expenses.

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