"What if I had gotten ready faster? What if we had done something sooner?" Terri Horman wonders

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Since her stepson Kyron disappeared on June 4, 2010, Terri Horman has been haunted by what-ifs.

That day, Terri took Kyron, then 7, to a science fair at his school in Portland, Oregon. She took photos with her digital camera, toured his classmates’ projects, and then said good-bye. It was the last time anyone ever saw him.

“What if? All those what-ifs. What if I had gotten ready faster? What if we had done something sooner? What if I had stayed for the whole fair and not left early?” Terri, 45, tells PEOPLE in an exclusive interview.

She adds: “I wish I could go back to that day and do something different.”

For more about the story and what Terri thinks happened to Kyron, pick up this week’s issue of PEOPLE on newsstands Friday. Tune in to ABC’s GMA and Nightline on Friday for a PEOPLE/ABC News exclusive sit down interview with Terri Horman.

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A cloud of suspicion has followed Terri since Kyron’s disappearance, though she’s never been named a suspect or a person of interest in the case. (Officials for the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Department say it is an “ongoing investigation.”)

To this day, however, Terri insists she had nothing to do with Kyron’s disappearance. She tells PEOPLE she did not harm or kill Kyron and has no idea what happened to him or where he is.

“No one is looking for him anymore,” she says. “I want Kyron found.”