"The really sucky thing about it is that my default can't go to, 'There's no way,' " Jana Kramer admitted on Sunday's episode of her podcast

By Jen Juneau
October 13, 2020 10:41 AM
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Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin are opening up about an unexpected wrench that was recently thrown in their trust-building.

In Sunday's episode of their Whine Down podcast, the married couple discussed an incident that occurred last week in which someone reached out to Kramer via direct message on social media and claimed that their friend had recently had a romantic tryst with Caussin.

"A few days ago, I got a DM saying that Mike cheated," said the country singer, 36. "And the reason why it caught me off guard was because the very first time I found out Mike cheated on me was through a DM."

Kramer and Caussin, 33, have been candid in the past about the former NFL player's sex addiction and multiple infidelities, as well as how they have overcome the associated hurdles between them over the years, both in their new book The Good Fight and elsewhere.

Mike Caussin and Jana Kramer
Jana Kramer/ Instagram

"So automatically, I'm in freak-out mode," Kramer continued of the DM. "I told my therapist [that] I almost have this weird PTSD, where I go through my DMs almost looking to see if the truth is gonna prevail in the DM again. I have this fear when I go through my DMs."

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Kramer went on to recall, "[The message] just said, 'Mike cheated again. I'm sorry.' And I looked at the person's profile — it had zero followers, so it's like they just made this account. So I reach out."

After calling her friend Sara for advice, the One Tree Hill alum realized that the message was simply "either someone is trying to mess with me and pop this bubble and get in my head, or it's true."

"The really sucky thing about it is that my default can't go to, 'There's no way.' I told Mike last night, that's where it hurts the most — where I can't just go, 'I trust him a thousand percent. He would never do that,' " Kramer continued. "And I think that's where it stung and where I'm like, 'Am I really gonna start having this DM conversation with this girl?' or whoever it was?"

Kramer did end up replying to the person, who told her "things that maybe could make sense, or maybe could be wrong. She said a few things about his hometown and I'm like, 'They can just look that up on the internet.' She said something about, 'He's got a secret device,' which has always been a fear of mine — that maybe he has some secret device that he talks to other people on."

The "Why Ya Wanna" singer — who shares son Jace Joseph, 22 months, and daughter Jolie Rae, 4½, with Caussin — "searched the frickin' house" before realizing that made her feel "crazy" and going to her therapist.

Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin with their kids Jolie and Jace
Jana Kramer/Instagram

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"I'm like, 'I don't want to be looking under the bed or going through his drawers trying to find this secret device. Who knows if it's even real?' Like, how do I deal with this? We're coming off a high, and now this?" Kramer said, referring to the couple's recent book release. "But I can't ignore it completely, because of our history. There's not enough stuff in the bank to trust his word 1,000 percent, because of the stuff last year, and that sucks."

The star "sat with it for a few days before bringing it to Mike," who noticed something was up with his wife but was at a loss for exactly what to do aside from let her come to him when she was ready and try not to "get frustrated" or "be codependent and try to take on her feelings."

"Once she finally told me last night, it crushed me, because it sucks," Caussin recalled. "I feel the same as her ... it sucks that she can't default to trusting me. It sucks that I've done what I've done in the past to create that in a relationship right now. My hope is that years down the line, if something like this happened again, she'd be able to bring it to me and we'd almost be able to laugh about it because there is that much trust in the bank."

"But I didn't fault her at all for questioning me, for still trying to figure these things out. When she told me she searched the house, my heart just sank because I just felt so bad for my wife to have to feel these things and that it's a direct correlation to things I've done in the past," he continued, adding, "I don't think she fully believes me yet."

Kramer said the person who reached out to her has since deleted their account — and that while she hopes she and Caussin can get to a place of 100 percent trust eventually, "It's not on me to be detective or control [the situation]," she said. "It's now in God's hands, where the truth will show eventually [either way]."